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How would you deal with this situation?

Well I just made myself look like a jackass :( and now I feel like shit Iknow I should have never brought it up but I have been feeling like this for years so I guess you can say I was being fake/real at times.
Well here goes my dh and I have been together for 12 yrs. and he has 2 teenage kids he is a very good dad to them but there were times they did not want to comeover here I guess cause they have more of a freedom over at mom's house. Anyway he was very persistant. I would be like oh they'll come around. Anyway to make a long story short he is a very good man husband father etc. and for some reason I find myself feeling jealous over this even though I shouldn't those kids were in his life before I even was, I just don't understand why I feel this way about this situation we have a home, we are healthy we have 2 kids of our own what else do I want. Please help me to cope with this. I tried talking to him he just left

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Sep. 25, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (4)
  • to go see them. He just said I'll just see you later :( He made me feel like just deal with it alone I was hoping he would....show something towards my feelings now I feel hurt and embarressed for even bringing it up. I kept it inside this long.
    He is such a hard ass :( Please b nice when answering. Thanks!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I'm not sure of the question. You feel guilty because you feel jealous because he persists in wanting his two teenage children for visitation?

    Do you feel like he should think you and the two children you have together should be enough? That would be something normal to feel. It must hurt at times when he keeps trying for them to come over and they don't even care. Why does he bother?

    He is a good dad. It is his job as a dad to keep trying to see his children. It doesn't mean he loves you or the children you have together less. It is the kind of man he is. You have to support him even if you don't agree. You will only make yourself look bad if you don't.

    Suck it up. This will pass. Soon they will be adults and there will be all new problems:)
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:15 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Feel how you will......... but DO NOT SHOW IT. Be loving and interested in his kids..... even if you have to fake it. I was a bitch as a teen to my step mom... I hated her. She never ever showed me how she really felt. Years later I appologized, and I have appologized many times over. I once had a heart to heart with her and thanked her for always remaining the adult. We are great friends, I call her often just to chat.... and I truly love her. I one time thanked her for helpping me become the woman I am today..... because she ramained the adult and let me work out the issues I had, I knew that she would always be there for me... it made me feel safe. I am 41 have 3 kids of my own and she is their grandma. My step father has never shown me that level of love. He is a decent man but never understood that the adult must stay the adult and deal with the chaos that the adults made for the children. We are not close.
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 3:17 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • my hubby has a 17yr old who lives with us full time.u shouldnt feel that way,i know them kids love u.if he is still talking to there mother,the issue may be there and u not know it.i get pissed when hubbys kids mom talks about stuff that has happend when they were together.
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 8:40 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

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