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5 year old development question: Please please please read and help me!

I think there is something wrong with my son. i have taken him to the ped already and she wants to hold off with any 'labels' till he is 6. I have another appt. for next week but is this stuff normal?
-a lot of trouble with fine motor skills- hand writing, legos and coloring (per teacher i though he was normal)
-can't sit still or stop talking during the day(per teacher and at home)
-refuses to do school work(obviously per teacher)
-has wet his pants 3 times in a month at school only
-at home has 'meltdowns' though it is getting better with the elimination of red dye and a new discipline system.
-is terrible indecisive and upsets himself over stupid thing like do you want a cracker.
He seems to play pretty well with others. He is very smart but will only show that when bribed so his teachers have no idea. Is he just a brat or what? I want a referral to a psychologist It think...


Asked by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on Sep. 25, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Does not sound like a 5 year old to me...

    I have nephews that age.

    If I was you I would not wait until he is 6 years old for a "label"
    That label can help you out with him in school, so he can get the proper help.

    I would take him to a developmental doctor.

    My daughter has PDD (mild form of autism) and if I did not get that "label" for her, she
    would not have got the speech and OT that he doctor recommends through school.

    Do not sit on it, follow your gut!

    Answer by Dannee at 3:24 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • It sounds like he is not ready for school. That's normal for 5 year olds. I would take him out of school.

    Answer by Gailll at 3:18 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Sounds like most 5yo boys I know.

    Answer by oldermomof5 at 3:21 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I agree, stay away from labels.... He is just immature for his age, many kids are! Keep with diet and working on behaviors. You do not want a label, you want a way to deal with your child and it sounds like you are doing a great job of that, it takes work and a lot of time. You are doing great. PDD was called PDD-NOS about 5 years ago- the NOS stands for Not Otherwise Specified... read between the lines- there was no diagnosis, but since parents want a label- they gave them on. They don't use the NOS anymore because the parents really wanted a label... if you have the money and the time, you can get a diagnosis and a label... your money and time is better spent working with your child to help him cope with his unique personality. I am a Mom who has been there, done that. Got the label, went to the support group and thought... these Moms are crazy. I just worked with my boy and all is well. PDD-BS!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • In Ca it is still called PDD_NOS Pervasive Developmental Disorder--Not Otherwise Specified
    It means the person has some but not all of the markers or symptoms of autism my 3 yr 7mo.
    granddaughter has it. She was diagnosed at The Mind Institute an AWSOME place at UC Davis
    in Sacramento ,CA The doctors used play therapy to diagnose. Her speech was delayed, but she's doing awesomely wonderful. She got a diagnosis, NOT a label Big difference I agree w/Dannee,( I hope your daughter is doing great!!)

    Answer by chevpam at 7:05 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • He sounds normal. Not liking school or having a hard time adjusting. He may not be mature enough yet. Personally, I think 5 is too young to be expected to sit down nice and do what you are told 7 hours straight.

    The only label for your son "healthy American boy".

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I would take him to see a developmental pediatrician, just to be sure. If he has an evaluation and it turns out within typical boundaries - then great, you've narrowed down what the problem might be and you've eliminated a possibility. But if there IS a problem, you can go ahead and get a jump on any appropriate therapy - you don't want to waste any time!

    Answer by missanc at 10:22 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Little WITCH anon 3:32

    You need the "LABEL" to get the help the state will give you and the school

    No ONE wants to label the kid......but you will NOT get the help without it..

    You sound like you are one of those mothers in denial..

    Answer by Dannee at 10:53 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Sorry, but that does NOT sound like what a normal 5 year old should be doing. He needs to be evaluated so he can get the help he needs to succeed in school to the best of HIS abilities. Stop putting things off before it gets harder to help him.

    At 5, he should be able to hold a pencil or crayon properly, write his name legibly, sit still for atleast 30 minutes at a time, follow multiple part directions, put together small Legos, and he should NOT be having that many accidents of refusing to do all work unless bribed.

    Yeah, get him evaluated and a treatment plan set up ASAP.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:14 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • To me, he sounds like a normal, extra-sensitive 5 yr old...... that, like someone else said, probably just isn't ready for school yet.

    I'd pull him, work with Kinder stuff at home in a more relaxed environment at his own pace, and try again next yr.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 1:40 AM on Sep. 26, 2009