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Why do so many people have such HORRIBLE views of mothers who have to work and put thier children in daycare?

My Dh and I have always agreed that I should stay home with the children until they are at least 2 years old but with the economy as ruff as it is I need to go back to work now in order for us to pay rent!

My DD is 2 but my DS is only 3 months. It's killing me to have to go back to work with him so little and with my daughter being so used to having mommy home with her everyday but I don't have a choice! If I don't go to work we're going to end up on welfare or something.

Every since making this decision it seems like I come across other mothers on here everyday talking about how selfish moms who work are.

It makes me feel like crap to read that other people think I'm putting work before my kids. That's just not true! I'm putting my kids need for food and a place to sleep first!

Why do people have such negative views of working mothers?!?!?!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Sep. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (51)
  • Screw the SAHM's who have said that mothers who work are selfish..

    I don't care what anyone says and I have been both a Sahm and a fulltime worker..

    Working and raising a family is HARDER....

    Answer by Dannee at 3:27 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I can't answer your question as to why. But don't let them get to you. You do what is best for your family and forget about the negative comments.

    Answer by Emberbaby at 3:30 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • It's ignorance, plain and simple.

    You do what you need to do, and don't worry about what these women think. Opinions are like a-holes...

    I'm a sahm, but I will have to return to work soon, so you and I will be in the same boat!

    Answer by Fallaya at 3:31 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I dont think people have a bad view of those that "have to" work... it is the mothers that simply dont want to give things up.

    I live in an area where the homes are from $800,000 to $1,000,000+... if you live in a home like that and have both parents working it is a choice not a need. Still it isnt too bad unless you are never home. I have known kids for literally a year worth of playgroups before I met the parents... it was always the nanny. It was the nanny taking to the drs, making dinner, etc.

    BUT I also have met sahms with nannies....... THAT IS HORRIBLE.

    You need to be the best parenet you can be. But if you have children it would be nice if you were around as much as possible.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I don't think it's right for either group to judge the other. You do what you have to do to best take care of your family. 'Don't worry so much about what other people think. Your children know you love them and that's all that matters.

    Answer by moniquinha at 3:33 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I think they do it to make themselves feel better. Disclaimer - I'm not talking about all SAHM. But there are some whose only identity is wife/mom. They don't go out, they don't have adult conversations other than CM, they are responsible only to someone that pees their pants and another adult who doesn't understand the enormous concessions they've made. Who's ever going to describe their own life as crap? But they'll say yours is.

    I wouldn't put too much weight into what any moms on this site think. If you look long enough, you'll see everyone criticizes everything.


    Answer by lvpenguino at 3:38 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I feel like why have babies if you aren't going to breastfeed and care for them. If you aren't going to do so, then don't have babies. That's my personal opinion.

    Most women can avoid working. I did even as a single mother. Take care of other people's kids. If you take care of rich people's kids in their home and take your kids along you can make a lot of money. Even more if the kids have special needs.

    I think getting WIC or food stamps to stay home and breastfeed your baby is better than going back to work. Breastfeeding is good for society and the environment and it's worth WIC and food stamp money.

    If you don't breastfeed then it doesn't matter much. Anyone can take care of your child. Just don't use day care centers. Get home care.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Why would anyone "avoid" working? What's so bad about work?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I am a full-time working mom that is the breadwinner in my household. I am extremely proud that I can provide for my family in such an important way. I have always been very independent and grew up with a single mom that struggled to make ends meet. I know I will never have to worry financially. Just remember a good mom is a happy mom. And when mom is happy, so is the family. I think the mom's that knock working moms are probably just unhappy. Don't worry too much about it. To me, it's like water off the duck's back. :)

    Answer by dawpea at 3:53 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I DO BREASTFEED!! Exclusively infact!

    Who the hell said anything about me nor BF? My baby is going eat EBM while I'm at work! I promise you are unlikely to meet a women who's more pro-breastfeeding than I am but what does that have to do with work?


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

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