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the bff

i noticed the other day that my daughters bff is getting awfully daughter knows it,but has been having a hard time with friends this year so i think she is just ignoring it...she is down right mean.i dont know what to do..i dont think she is getting enough attention at home but my daughter needs some friends also...any ideas???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Sep. 25, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • Talk to the friend. She is probably trying out new behavior. Let her know what it does to others and how it makes her sound. Do it all in a very nice way.

    Answer by Gailll at 3:57 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • You may be right about her not getting enough attention at home. You should say something the next time you hear her say something. Just say it in a nice way. Like wow thats was a lil mean don't you think. ~IDK! i wish you luck!!

    Answer by neveragain17 at 4:00 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • It may be this way for a few years. The tween - early teen years are really rough for some girls. You can try to get your daughter involved with activities where she might meet other friends and encourage her to pursue additional friendships - this is pretty much the advice I have been given. My DD is 13 and has lost friends, including her bff, over the last couple of years. I'm not having much luck with it so far, but my daughter is at least staying busy. I hope things will settle back down in the next couple of years as the girls get their hormones sorted out a little better.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I was like that as a teenager, she'll probably grow out of it. For me, it for attention. And I only had one friend. I was teased alot in school, my parents were so into my brother it seemed to me that they wouldn't care if I were gone. Around 15/16 I became suicidal, and my bff was the only one I had in the world. If it weren't for her I probably wouldn't be here. Over the years we've fought alot, but we got over it. I sometimes said cruel things that I really didn't mean, but she learned how to deal with me and well that's just me. I don't think it's really a big deal. She might need your daughter's friendship. I don't know what I'd do without my bff! We've been friends for 14 years now, and I'm closer to her than I am to my family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Try top motherly to the BFF and see if she changes her ways around you she just wants to be loved and needs someone to show it to her.

    Answer by ggiovanni at 4:24 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • When that happened at my house I would just say, we don't treat our friends like that here. She probably is just looking for attention. What better way than being over the top. Have you daughter join a school club, or band or a sport. That is always a good way to make new friends. They will have something in common. It is also a good way to stay busy. Hopefully this friend will find that it is hard to keep friends acting this way.

    Answer by wallmom1 at 4:25 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • she is more sports and groups than heinz has pickles...nothing....she doesnt want to talk to anyone...she has been snubbed in the past.we have spent a small fortune putting her in sports and a private club...we have narrowed it to girlscouts and cheerleading for didnt win over though she did play for 4 yrs....all her friends are on the travel team....

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • you dont say how old your daughter is but im assuming she's in elementary school... anyhow, i dont like bff's for elementary school kids. I dont think its 'healthy'... i think they need a healthy mix of friends and need to learn how to be more independent... devoting all their time to one exclusive friend is silly- especially that young... there's girls at my kids school that start these ridiculous clicks with their little kinder and 1st grade girls.... i think its dumb...

    Answer by JAXX55 at 9:03 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

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