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i am a stay at home mom i cook every night and my husband cant wash a dish

i take care of a 2 year old and it is a full time job i cant clean until the end of the night cause my son will make mess i dont just cook ck. fingers and ff i cook a full corse meal every night im tired !!!!! he feels like washing the dishes is part of my responsibity shit i feel like going on strikeand not cooking is is wrong for me to ask him to clean at least the dishes i dont ask him to clean pots! is it to much for him to help me clean this big entire house on the weekend when hes not at work?


Asked by yumymommy at 10:38 PM on Jun. 23, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Vbruno, you ought to be banned from answering questions permanently if this is how you speak to other mothers! Your need to congratulate yourself is obvious, but completely unwarranted to use to try to make a fellow mother feel like less of a woman!
    yumymommy, I don't think you're being unreasonable. You both work full time and home life and responsibilities should be shared. I agree with adsherf, perhaps making a list of your daily duties would be helpful. Just try sitting down with your man and you can both state your cases and come to a compromise. :)

    Answer by KeevaKay at 12:18 AM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • The rule in my house has always cooks one cleans. If he doesnt like it then he doesnt get dinner. Maybe right down exactly what you do and the time it takes for 1 day. Some guys dont get it. They just take what we do for granted. After you write down your a cook, housecleaner, nanny, and driver. Ask how much they would charge for those tasks and give him a bill. Maybe money is the only thing that will sink in.

    Answer by Adsherf at 10:58 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • though it's not too much to ask from him i don't think he should be forced to. i expect my SO to work and take care of the yardwork, and i take care of the house. i cook from scratch too, and i know it's a big mess and i don't ever ask for his help. telling a guy "hey if you don't clean then no dinner for you" sounds like you are his mother more than his partner, and we all know any guy with a brain in his head would just leave and go to a fast food place - after all, that's what we would do right?

    Answer by hiddenpoet at 11:06 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • He makes ALL the $$ and you only take care of 1 small child and you dont wanna wash dishes? Maybe i'm old fashioned. When my kids were young I ran my own company with 150 employee's and did all the cooking and cleaning and was home in daylight hours to take care of my kids myself. I had an office cleaning Co. I worked late nights. there are millions of moms out there taking care of more than 1 kid, and they do carpool and school and lots of things. and your making excuses to not clean cause he will mess it up again is LAME Motherhood is HARD work. Being a stay at home Mom is not easy either but it's part of the sacrafice you make when your a SAHM with a hubby who makes ALL the $$

    Answer by vbruno at 11:25 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • Do whatever you can do to get a dishwasher!! It has saved many mariages! If you cant afford one, start saving, have a yardsale! if you dont have a place for built-in, get a portable. Look for a used one if you have to! If you are able to get a DW then never buy another item for the kitchen that wont fit into the DW! If a DW is totally out of the question, then make easier meals or ask for him to compromise & do them 2-3 nights (his off days?) Good luck Hon, It can be tough to domesticate some of the really
    "spoiled" ones! (Thanks M-I-L) It took me 22yrs! LOL!!!

    Answer by kymom2boys at 11:28 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • Vbruno I agree with you 100%! I am a full time working mom of 4 kids and I can manage to get the dishes done. Sorry but to me when you stay at home your job is to take care of the house. Your husband works all day, he should not have to come home and work too.

    Answer by AKEllen at 11:52 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • eat leftovers sometimes! order in! go out! you don't have to do the full course meal, just like he doesn't have to do the dishes. But it would be nice, wouldn't it?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Jun. 24, 2008