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Was I in th right?

My dds biodad is very unreliable. I have her call him every night before bed. He consistently tells her he is going to take and when the time comes he always has an excuse that he cant do it. I have been dealing with this since we split. She is five now and is starting to be hurt and angry with him He was suppose to take her on Wed. for dinner and didnt but promised her she could spend the night tonight. He called said he couldnt and would take her for the whole weekend next week. Ive had it. I told him if he didnt take her next week, I wouldnt have her cal anymore and he could tak me back to court because all he does is let her down. We live three blocks from each other and she only sees him once every 3 months. Am I wrong for telling him to step up or no more contact until court?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Sep. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • No, I don't think you're wrong. I hope you are documenting his calls, his promises, and when he actually takes her. That will be very valuable if he does take you to court. Chances are he won't bother.

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:19 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • my "baby daddy" was just like that. so finally i gave up and forbad him to see her. and vis versa. this however didnt upset him that much and he didnt care. long sotry short hes now in jail we never made it to court and blah blah he wont see her untill shes 10.whatever. my point is i know what your going threw.and it isnt fair to her. EPECIALLY if you live that effin close together. i mean come on. i say stick to your guns and tell him if he doesnt step up then your not going to let him. and make sure you document this that he doesnt want to spend time with or or hes always making up excuses. looks better for court. but again we can give our oppions but you dont have to take them. the choice is yours...
    BTW my DD stop calling her dad,"dad" whens he was 1 1/2.b/c he wasnt around her enough and started calling my now husband dad when shes was almost 2.

    Answer by sandraberke at 7:19 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Nope, I agree with you Op. Don't let him hurt your child. If he wants to see her and have a relationship with her, let him prove it by blowing money on lawyers and court fees to get to see her first.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 7:20 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • He could call her. That way the responsibility for calling is on him.

    You can't make him love her. Make sure you let her know it's just the way he is and it's not her fault.

    Answer by Gailll at 7:21 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • You are PRECISELY correct.

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:34 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • You are totally in the right. My dad was the same way, I would get so excited as a kid when I was supposed to go with him and then he would cancel. I remember how hurt I felt even to this day and I am 28. He doesn't deserve to spend time with her if she is such an inconvienance to him.

    Answer by Colie68 at 7:43 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Why do YOU keep setting the child up to be hurt? You know he's going to disappoint her so quit rewarding him for his bad behavior. Quit calling him. Let him work for the right to see her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • i would stop calling and tell him he needs to come by the house if he wants to see her- and dont tell her if hes says he plans on taking her out, then if he doesn't she wont know whats going on

    Answer by babycakes111 at 8:28 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • What I think you are wrong for doing is letting your daughter know what is going on..

    Do not tell her that her father is taking her ANYWHERE until he shows up...

    If he shows up at all..

    My DD's dad lives 1200 miles away and I do not tell her he is coming until I know for sure...

    3 Blocks away .....he should be ashamed of himself..

    Answer by Dannee at 9:09 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

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