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if i put in writing

that i want my sister to take of son if die...does it even matter if his father doesnt put anything in writing also.. my inlaw dont like me.. and i would wnt my son to be with my sister if anything happen to me..and dh.. is it nill and void without the fathers feelings on paper.
thank u!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on Sep. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • you should both agree on it and have it legally written up. if he tells your parents or someone else that he wants them to watch over your child and all you have is a piece of paper you wrote out, than it can and probably will be argued.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 8:24 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • You need to as an attorny in your state... not moms in a chat group.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • The courts take your wishes into consideration but a judge decides who gets the kids.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 8:29 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • agrees w/ Gailll on this one. you should sit down and talk about it with the father of your children and come to an agree ment. and have nit drawn up into a will.
    sandraberke

    Answer by sandraberke at 8:31 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Please have someone with better writing skills write up your wishes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • It is true that it would be taken into consideration however unless you have a legal will it cannot be enforced. Your husband will most likely be who the child stays with no matter what you write down on a piece of paper.
    SaturnsMom

    Answer by SaturnsMom at 10:09 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • You should contact an attorney to get the most accurate info in your state. You also can't just write something on a piece of paper, it needs to be legally documented to be legitimate. Unless the people on this site are attorney's in the state you live in, they don't know what you should do.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:37 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • If you die, the child's father will get custody. If both of you die and you want him to go to your sister, have a will made up. At the very least you could have something written you that both you and your hubby sign stating your sis gets him and have it notarized.
    4monkees

    Answer by 4monkees at 2:00 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • I know my in-laws don't always like me but that doesn't mean they would treat your child horribly because your child is their grandchild. Yes, the father will get the child and yes the agreement has to be legal.
    robinsi2000

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 11:53 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Every state has different laws reagarding custody, guardianship and how a will has to be executed. So def. check with a lawyer in your state. Many give a free consultation.

    In most states if one parent dies the child automatically goes to the living parent, even if they were never married, never had custody before and even never seen the child before. It will not matter if you have a legal will stating you wish otherwise. The other parent doesn't have to put anything in writing because parental rights prevail (unless they are voluntarily or involuntarily terminated in a legal proceeding).

    If both parents die without leaving a will that indicates who they want to be guardians of their minor children the state steps in and a judge decides, and it won't always be a relative that gets the child(ren). So it is alway good to have a legal will drawn up when you have minor children.
    shaecastle

    Answer by shaecastle at 12:27 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

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