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Is is bad to still want to be with an ex?

My hubby and I have been married for a year and 3 months. My ex bf was my first one and we had a 4 year relationship that ended by our parents moving. Didn't see him for 14 years and recently found each other through Facebook. We went out to eat to catch up and it stirred up some old emotions and feelings. Sometimes I want to be with him over my hubby. Is that completely out of the question and should I move on? Hubby and I aren't getting along too well 22 year age difference is hard


Asked by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Sep. 26, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • The grass always seems greener on the other side! Marriage and family take a lot of hard work and it's nice to fantasize about what it'd be like to be some place else. I'm afraid you'd find that if it became a relationship you'd be wishing you were back where you were.


    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:57 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Sometimes those feelings do tend to surface after you are "reunited" with someone from your past...but these feelings are usually short lived and irrational. Age is nothing but a number, don't use that as an excuse to justify the thoughts that you are having. You married the man that you love and you now have children together I am assuming....marriage is supposed to be precious. Mend it, don't end it. Unless there is some kind of abuse in the home I think that you even thinking about your ex like this for more than a few days and actually wondering if you should follow through with these thoughts and feelings is childish and selfish.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • i would say if you wanna leave your hubby leave...but lets be wise here, the grass is never greener on the other side....naturally when we see something "new or better" we want it, and want we already have suddenly doesn't look so good.

    Answer by kiyad22 at 12:50 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • I can offer you some advice that comes from personal experience. The man that I consider to be my first love (indeed, the first person I had sex with too) and I are still friends, though we have not seen eachother since we broke up (several years now). A few months ago, we began talking more reguarly. My husband was going through a rough patch at the time, and as a result I was feeling a bit neglected. At the same time, here was this person that I still care for somewhere inside me (I don't think we ever get over our first loves) showering me with attention and telling me all the things I wanted to here from a man. Needless to say, I too felt a "stirring of emotions".


    Answer by EternalChild86 at 1:38 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Then, my husband began acting like his usual, wonderfully loving self again. I felt so guilty because I realized that, while I do love and care for my ex-boyfriend, I was magnifying those feeling to more than they truly were to fill the empty space caused by my husband's lack of attention towards me. I told my ex-boyfriend that I will continue to be his friend only if he agrees never to bring up what we once were again. I know now that possibly tearing our families apart (he is married with children too) over a five year gone teenage romance would have been the worst mistake of our lives. Perhaps your marriage is at an end, and perhaps not. Either way, please be certain before you do anything rash. As well, make sure you are viewing your marriage without this other man in the equation. If he was not around would you feel the same? If you do realize you want out, officially end the marriage before making something new.

    Answer by EternalChild86 at 1:45 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • *hear...not here.

    Answer by EternalChild86 at 1:46 AM on Sep. 26, 2009