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do i have a right to be mad

my ex and i havent been together since i was 5mo along and i've done everything i can think of to help them bond but since he got married last oct. he has slowly been pulling away(yes i get along with his wife) its gotten worse the past 6 mo and today he informed me that he was enlisting in the army (his wife is too) and i feel angry and hurt. i feel like he didnt think about his son when he decided to do this
he comes by maybe twice a month and calls maybe 3 times a month if i'm lucky i take care of everything i do everything for our son(we talked once about child support and i didnt hear from him for a month and a half so i never brought it up again) the onlything i want is for him to be a good father to our son to be there when he needs him i didnt make him alone but i'm the one thats left alone to deal with everything while he goes off for 3 years active duty part of me feels that hes doing this so he can pull away

 
liadotwtd

Asked by liadotwtd at 1:01 AM on Sep. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 6 (139 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I'm sorry, its ok to be mad about it, but don't hold onto your anger and forgive him. I think that its very very important for a boy to have a male role model around, and if he is going to be gone surround him with other male figures that can build a positive relationship with... maybe a grandpa, uncle, cousin etc, or even a trusted friend that you know will stick around, or if you are looking into dating, choose that person wisely :) I hope it all works out for you and family and that your son and his dad will grow a strong relationship, even though he'll be gone more.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 1:35 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • I think I would file for child support. Your child deserves to have it. If you don't need it put it in a college fund for your child. If he doesn't want to participate in your child's life, you can't force him, but he should still support his child.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:06 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • im going to file for child support on monday after he told me i went got all the paper work from dhs
    liadotwtd

    Answer by liadotwtd at 1:11 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • i think it's time to meet agood man that will treat you right and be a good father because you can't make someone want to do things and in the long run it wold be better for your son to have a male figure who loves to be his dad and works hard everyday so that you both are happy, thatwold be an ideal situation. till then stay strong go to court because your child still needs to be provided for.good luck
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 1:13 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • i think you have the right to feel hurt. it really sucks that he is not taking a more active part in your child's life. i have friends that are in similiar situations...and they are always trying to be the "better people" and try to keep close ties with their kids and fathers. unfortunately, some dads (even some moms) just dont feel that its important to be in the lives of the children or they just know the better parent is going to pick up their slack. in my opinion, you should let him do whatever it is he wants, file for child support- so at least he takes on some financial responsibility and move forward with your child. try your hardest to create the life you want for your child and maybe one day, you will have someone in your life that really wants to step up and be a father figure to your little one. good luck sweetie.
    brodysmama23

    Answer by brodysmama23 at 1:18 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • You can't make a "man" a dad. If he does't want to be there and you make him, he's going to do more harm then good for you and your son. I think childsupport needs to be discussed again, and make it a point that if he's not going to support your son emotionaly then he can be there for him financially. And yes you have the right to be angery.
    Payan04

    Answer by Payan04 at 4:34 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • He may have chosen to do this as a way to provide for your son. He can pay child support. He can provide him with medical insurance if you don't have it. Men think differently than women. He thinks as a Provider and his decision sounds like he is doing what he thinks is right for his son. It's all good
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:24 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

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