Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Are you harassed to visit??

I live about 40 miles from my mom. My oldest has Autism/bi-polar disorder (full of drama) and I have a wild 3 year old. I am in school and working from home. I am a busy woman....

My mom will call and make comments about how I never visit, I see them about once a month, usually more. I have been sick the past week with bronchitis, I am taking so much medicine and just feel weak. I was was talking to her on the phone yesterday and she said "WELL, sounds like you're better!!!" because I was coughing my lungs out at the time... She complains about how busy she is and pretends like I am just laying around watching TV all the time.

Does anyone else deal with this crap from family???

Answer Question
 
jalex

Asked by jalex at 9:07 AM on Sep. 26, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 4 (47 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • Nope...I dont deal with it...I tell them they know where I live if the want to visit more, we're here!
    bumblebeestingu

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 9:09 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Why don't you invite her over once a week to visit and help you out. That way everyone is satisfied.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 9:24 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • God yes! It's DH's family. We hear it all the time and they do get to see us. They live just under an hour away but refuse to take into account all the times we've been there over the last year and the fact that while it's a short drive time it's still uses gas. It's a two hour round trip nearly and all the running around they want us to do while we're there. We can't afford it all the time. So they come here and act like it's such a trial. For some reason they want us there all the time.

    I know how you feel!
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 9:40 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Yes, my father lives in ME and when we went up there for my Grammy's funeral he complained to me how I never call him. I told him I sent him cards, notes, and photos of his grandchildren and even sent him a birth announcement of his great-grandchild, but I've never heard back from him. He just whined about how he prefers phone calls. Since we aren't close at all and I don't have any love for him he won't be hearing anymore from me except for a Christmas card once a year - that's all I promised my Grammy at her wake when I spoke with her. She was forever trying to get us to be a "loving" family, but abuse is hard to forget, especially when the abuser doesn't see anything wrong with what he did. I have learned to forgive, though, but I need to keep my distance from him emotionally.
    PrydferthMenyw

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 9:43 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Why don't you invite her over once a week to visit and help you out. That way everyone is satisfied.

    Oh, I forgot that she is very critical of me.... She can be VERY hateful....
    jalex

    Answer by jalex at 9:45 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • If she's critical and that's your reasoning, then you should just be honest with her and tell her that's the reason. That you'd love to have a warm relationship with her mother/daughter, and grandma/grandkid, but she will need to modify her behaviour.

    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 10:00 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • OMG I HAVE TO HERE THIS ALL THE TIME, I WISH EVERYONE WOULD JUST COME TO MY HOUSE AND VISIT ...BUT THEY DON'T THEY ALL WANT ME TO GO TO THERE HOUSES! ITS AGGRAVATING.....
    ELIZABETHSMO902

    Answer by ELIZABETHSMO902 at 10:16 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Tell her to DRIVE her own ass over to see the grandkids if it's such an issue!
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 10:20 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Yep, everyone says we need to come visit, but living 900 miles away from my parents and 1800 miles away from DH's parents makes it very difficult to visit.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 10:22 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • We don't really have this problem but I do feel bad for my MIL. She only has my DH and our kids, and they about two hours away. But right now my DH works weekends (every weekend) and she works during the week. So even if she comes here, it hard for her to see him. My parents live about 20 minutes away and my mom works just 10 minutes from my house so we see them about three times a week.

    Still, even if I did have that problem, I couldn't complain about it. My BFF misses her mom soo much, she died very suddenly a few years ago, so she wouldn't be very sympathetic to me at all.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 10:22 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN