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would you be ok with your husband being friends with someone like this?

my husband's best friend is a womanizer, he goes to the strip clubs nightly and picks up woman does his "thing" then sends them on their way. he came over last night trying to get my husband to go with him to the strip bars and i over heard them talking and the friend said my husband needed to get his balls out of my purse that he has no life and he should have a variety not the same woman every night...i was so pissed and cant figure out why he hangs out with this guy when he has other guy friends he known since grade school who are happily married he go could go play pool with ect...and no my husband says im being controlling, cause i hate this guy...and this guy does influence my husband alot so when the friend gives him too much shit he gives in so they ended up going out for two hours last night and my husband was rude to me b4 he left and after he got back cause of this friend

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Sep. 26, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • It isn't so much that your DH is friends with a 'womanizer' like that - my husband has a similar best friend. What I wouldn't stand for, and what you shouldn't stand for, is that friend trying to influence your DH, and possibly succeeding at it. As other PPs said, if I had overheard that and my DH didn't tell him to shut up and had actually gone with him, I would have intervened right there and told him what I'd overheard, and stood up for myself. I would have told DH (alone, not with his friend present) that he can choose the lifestyle his friend wants, or me. That he can be friends with whomever he wants, but the second he starts letting that friendship jeopardize his relationship, that friendship ought to end, or the relationship ends. It is ridiculous that he would still choose to go out, knowing what his friend wants him to do, if he still wants a relationship with you. Stand up for yourself! You deserve better.
    Iskkra

    Answer by Iskkra at 12:07 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Sounds to me like your husband needs to grow a pair and tell his FRIEND to move on. He is much to worried about what his scumbag of a buddy will think of him and needs to man up and not hang out with him anymore. PERIOD.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • I would be mad. Not at the friend, I would be mad that my husband was so easily influenced. If he'd blow you off and treat you diffrently just because of who he is hanging out with, thats what I would be pissed about. I would have confronted both of them right then and let them know I wasn't putting up with that shit!
    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 1:39 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Nope if I heard him talking to my fiance like that I would tell him to leave my house and never come back. In my house you have respect for us or you leave.
    trevsrockinmom

    Answer by trevsrockinmom at 1:42 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • When a man gets married he has to choose between his friends or his family and decide which is more important to him. My husband recently had to make that decision and while he struggled with it quite a bit and hung out with his crazy friends a couple of times more than I would have liked, he eventually has realized he would rather have our daughter and I, and that his friends were not looking out for him. Until he realizes that this friend is not looking out for his best interests maybe you can come up with some type of agreement on what places are appropriate for a married man to go to, and what are not. Or even say something like he can hang out with that guy at your house or with other friends who you can trust. Good luck sweetie! I hope your hubby makes the decision that is best for all of you!

    soccerchik8287

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 1:44 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Wow, I'm glad I only work in a high school and am not living it in my marriage. But seriously, I'd be pissed if my hubby thought it was okay to treat me like that no matter who he was hanging out with. I really don't care if he hits a strip bar, and to be honest I don't care that the friend is a womanizer who is with a different woman every night. That's his choice and his loss of having a great relationship with more than just sex. But the disrespect to both of us would not be tolerated. Luckily my hubby has enough respect for himself and me that anyone who talked to him or about me like that would be out on his ear in a heartbeat. And with a strip torn off him to boot!
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 1:55 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • No I would not. I would have made it known I heard what he said. I would have confronted my DH, and ask him if he want to be single? That's what your trying to tell me, hanging out with your single friend.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:55 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Oh heeelll nooo~!! Time for hubby to make a choice, you or the asshole...hell Ida packed my bags already he's fkn lucky you're still even there arguing with him about it~!!
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 1:55 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • My husband wouldn't be friends with that kind of man.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Life is made of choices. He's a grown man and can make his own choices of friends. Obviously he likes hanging with this dude or he'd get away from him. Would I be ok with it if it were my man, probably not but the only thing I can see to do is to keep him busy with other friends and not available to this guy.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:55 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

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