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14 year old son "friends" with a 22 year old female?

My son takes karate lessons three times a week and has met a "girl" in his class that he has been texting and wants to invite her over for dinner sometime. On top of the usual 14 year old boy stuff that he is dealing with, he also has some emotional and learning issues that aren't apparent to people who don't really know him.

Anyway, she is 22. I told him I didn't like the idea and thought it strange that someone her age would want to hang out with a 14 year old boy. His father (my ex) thinks it's odd too, but doesn't think it is a big deal for her to come over or for them to be friends. I think it's more than odd on her part and would like to put an end to this "friendship". Not sure how to deal with this one since he isn't living with me at the moment :-/

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Sep. 26, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (24)
  • Yikes. I'd have her over for dinner and get a feel for what her deal is. I would also mention his age in front of her...casually (who knows how old he said he is).

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 4:40 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Wow.  I agree with you, I don't think I would be comfortable with that either.  I would have her over for dinner also like ANGIE409 has already said.  If I didn't like the vibes I would tell her to stay the hell away from my son.  I'm lying.  Well, not telling the whole truth.  I would invite her over JUST to tell her to stay away from my son, not to actually get to know her.  I've been 14 and hung around older people.  My conversation is NOT what they were looking for.


    Answer by Katrina3016 at 4:46 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • I agree with Angie. Maybe if you have her over for dinner you will be able to read her. It also true that kids don't always tell the truth about their age. If she is just wanting a friendship, I don't know how I would handle it. I find it odd too that a 22 year old would want to be friends with a 14 year old, but maybe she has a little brother or other family member that he reminds her of, and she is just missing that person? I don't know...just thinking of reasons. Good luck!

    Answer by MPWifeJessicia at 4:53 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • get her phone number and call her its ur right.... last time i heard of an older woman with a kid. the chick had a baby was claiming it was the young boys and it looks just like the boy. but she refuses to get a DNA bc she will go to jail so now the boy has nothing to do with the kid

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • That is odd. When i was 14 i was friends with 22 years old. Who bought us drinks, i was smarter then most of my friends and thank god didnt do anything. But now l am so shock and grossed out about a 22 year old liking a 14 year old.

    Answer by DilsMommy at 4:58 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • nothing against your son but why would a 22 year old want to date a 14 year old. for? Doesn't she feel silly ?I know I would. unless he being super matrure and is tall and lying about his age to the girl. I would also try somehow to see if this girl ,really knows how old he is..

    Answer by incarnita at 4:59 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Eh... I'll be the odd man out here -- I really don't think it's that big of deal. Starting at age 11, I developed a very close friend ship with neighbors that were retired. My mom thought it was weird, too, and that the husband was some sort of perv --- I'd spend entire days over there doing crafts & playing boardgames. I could talk to them about stuff I couldn't talk w/ my parents about. It was awesome.

    As a teen, I had lots of 20-something friends... and that's all they were: friends.

    Since he's not living with you, there's really not much you can do about it yourself. You can' "forbid" him from seeing her --- she's in his class afterall & you're not the custodial parent.

    If you're concerned, why not talk to this young lady yourself & explain your son's developmental issues to her so that she can be sure nothing she says or does is taken out of context w/him.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 5:18 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Thanks for all these answers.

    Laura1229 - His being at his dad's is temporary - I still have full physical custody (long story). Your situation with your neighbor sounds unusual these days (in a positive way). I remember being 14 and being around older people who didn't have my best interest in mind.

    He swears he told her he was 14 - she originally thought he was 16 (big deal). But he is also known for not telling the truth.

    I think I will have a word with her before things go any further. Even if she isn't interested in anything more than "friends" - my son's hormones are thinking otherwise, I am sure.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Even if she isn't interested in anything more than "friends" - my son's hormones are thinking otherwise, I am sure.

    LOL OP!! I am sure you are right about that.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:49 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Nope, not cool at all.

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 5:49 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

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