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What would you do? About DH and pot...

Ok my DH has been going through a depression and is a pot head. We got in to an argument today & he said that he wants to just quit his job and smoke pot for a month or two (maybe even more) and that I should get a job. Mind you I'm a SAHM/WAHM for 3 children and am 17 weeks pregnant. Anyway in our argument I told him that if he just quit his job so that he could stay home and smoke pot that I would leave him and move home to my mom's house (I would hope that he'd get his head out of his house but if he didn't, then I would start over and be a single working mom). Anyway he was horrified that I would just leave him like that. That I married him for good or bad and that I should stick by him no matter what he does and that I apparently do not love him. Now he's saying that I am in the wrong for being willing to leave him. (I will say that I wouldn't just leave him right away but eventually I would...FOR my children!).

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Sep. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • What I wanted to know is what would YOU do if you had a pot head DH who was willing to quit his job and live on our savings while sitting on the back porch and smoking the months away until our savings was finally tapped out? Would you leave? What would you do or say?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Tell him he's breaking the law, that's reason enough for you to leave with your kids.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 6:11 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • sounds like he needs to grow up and quit acting like a child. yes you married him for better or worse but if hes not relizing what hes doing and hes hurting you and your kids then yes you have to protect your children. Your not in the wrong and id tell him to buck up and be a man.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • no, i definately would not leave. i love my husband so fucking much. im there thru anything, together. im him and hes me. being that as it may, if that were me in a situation as yours id kick my husbands ass back to reality and make him snap the fuck up out of it and get his ass back in check. for real, or "real talk" as some say. besides being a pothead, thats cool-no biggie, but the part where he doesnt want to work is where he fucks up. family comes first. -being able to survive and getting shit done and dealt with matter first and foremost.

    simple, id make him see the light:)
    evilive

    Answer by evilive at 6:14 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • I'd leave his ass! I think pot can be ok in certain situations, but being a pot HEAD is different! (I haven't smoked in over two years). But seriously, how is he setting any kind of good example for your children? What if CPS came and saw him smoking pot around them? Your kids would be taken away, and he'd probably have to be gone for you to get them back!
    Honestly I would leave him right now for even thinking of doing this to you and your kids!
    SarahLeeMorgan

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 6:15 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • oops, meant *simply*

    -and *ahem* pot is not the issue here!
    evilive

    Answer by evilive at 6:15 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Evilive: to me, there's a difference between a pot smoker and a pot head. A pot smoker is someone who occasionally indulges in some wacky tobaccy. A pot head is someone who smokes all day and all night, who can't hold a job because they're always stoned, etc. If her husband wants to be a pot smoker, that's fine as long as he doesn't do it around the children or her. If he wants to be a pot head, that's another story.
    SarahLeeMorgan

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 6:24 PM on Sep. 26, 2009


  • I love my DH very much. I can't even imagine leaving. But I don't know what else to say to him. He never seems to be happy with anything. He thinks that if he buys a boat he'll be happy. He thinks that if he stays home and I get a job then he'll be happy. It is always about the "I will be happy IF..."I would be so happy if I could get a new truck."(he did this and he's still not happy)

    "I would be happy if I would make more money."
    "I would be happy if I didn't have to work."
    "I would be happy if I got my master's" (he did this and he's still not happy).

    He is constantly telling me that I'm not fast enough. I'm too slow. I'm not trying hard enough. Nothing I do is ever good enough. I don't really know what to do or say to him. It has been getting worse through the years. I don't know where we are heading. I don't know what to do or say to him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Original Poster

    evilive---
    no you are completely right. Pot isn't really the problem here.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Maybe you guys should try couples counseling. It seems like he's so unhappy with himself that he's making you feel bad for what he perceives as his shortcomings.
    SarahLeeMorgan

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 6:29 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

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