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How do I get my son ready for a new baby?

My son is 18 months and we are expecting another in February. He is very very attached to me. I can honestly say I hold about 85% of the day. He'll play alone for a few minutes and comes right back to me. It's hard for me to get anything done and I just don't know what I'm gonna do when the new baby arrives. I don't want to just throw it on him when she comes. Any suggestions on how I can fix this?

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Asked by Kayla516 at 7:57 PM on Sep. 26, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (8)
  • I would stop holding him so much and not being so attentive. I am expecting the second any day now and we have a 13 month old. Started all kinds of transitions a couple months ago so it isn't such a shock. But I think some say around 18 months that is a phase they go through, being so clingy. Unless he has always been clingy?? But encourage his independence. Take him to a play group if you can or even consider sending him to a daycare a few hours a day a couple times a week, so he can learn some social skills and not dominating your time. Good luck!!!

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 8:00 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • stop holding him so much. I know it will be hard. but you should start doing it now before the baby comes. encourage him to play on his own. make a big deal of it! "yay! look at you over there playing with that toy dog" or whatever. keep up with positive reinforcement whenever he dares to venture away from you.
    Luckily, he's at an age where he'll be wanting more independence anyways. So hopefully it will only take a little umph.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 8:03 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • i agree, stop holding him so much. 18 month olds should have more freedom anyway. as for getting him ready, i'm not so sure. my kids are 16 months apart. when i was pregnant, especially in the 3rd trimester, i would try to talk to my ds and tell him he was gonna be a big brother but he always blew me off, he always had other things on his mind, like his toys lol. i was a little worried, not like huge worried though. when she finally came (booger was a freakin week late) turns out i didn't have to worry about her, he was all for her! he loved holding her, helping me with her and her stuff. never had problems. kids are smart, some just get jealous. idea though: if the carseats are next to each other, have them next to each other now, put a babydoll in there, so that way you can teach him not to grab at it or anything. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Many hospitals offer a sibling class.

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:40 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • My son was 22 months old when my daughter was born, and I was freaking out about how he would react. He never seemed to understand when I would try to tell him about babies and sisters and whatnot, and I was worried he would get jealous and all the other bad stuff you hear about. But as it turned out, I had no reason to worry. He actually adjusted to having a baby around better and faster than me, and I never really did anything to "prepare" him. So regardless of how successful your efforts are, give him (and yourself) a chance before you start freaking out too badly; it might not be as bad as you're afraid it will. :)


    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 11:18 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • around the time i was 6 months prego i didnt play with my son as much or hold him because i knew i couldnt once the baby came.....and he loves his brother he isnt jealous or nothing he likes to throw his diapers away and hold his bottle(while i hold it) and he likes to hug and kiss son was 25 months when i had my he was about 21 or 22 months when i stopped doing all the stuff with him....

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 11:40 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • I'm expecting my second in November and my daughter will be 19 mo. then. We've been talking about babies for a couple months now and telling her there is one in mommies belly. She points out babies now when she sees them ("Bayba" is what she calls them). A few weeks ago, we went to Toys R Us and got her a baby doll, a bottle and an umbrella stroller. She absolutely LOVES them! She takes her baby to bed with her every night...she "feeds" the baby several times a day and pushes the baby in the stroller on walks. Its a great way for her to learn about babies and to have one of her own when the new baby comes. We plan on getting her some accessories (like the ones I"ll have for the new baby) to give to her once we're back home from the hospital. (Blankets, burp clothes, cradle, etc.) This way, she can play pretend with her baby and still be involved in what mom is doing.

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 12:12 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • My daughter was excited to know their was a new baby on the way...she was 20 months when our son was born. Even though she was too young to hold him or do anything like that I had her help me set up his room for him, put the diapers away, blankets you know all the little stuff. When our son came home she wanted to help cuddle him up in his blanket. I let her sit by me on the couch & 'help' feed him his bottle. She would get diapers for him, wind up his mobile. I let her know that it was her responsibility to be a good big sister & make sure that her brother was taken care of. She really got into it & had alot of fun. It kinda helped me to 'cause when I'd get frusterated with his baby crying she could tell & would pat my back & say it's ok mommy. lol. =)

    Answer by jfblaine at 12:55 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

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