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Anyone have a good marriage and still thinking of someone else- constantly?

Okay, so i'm a good girl, never done daring things, just never tempted. Anyone that wants to tell me to get over myself, don't bother, I'm working on it. But really- i'm a christian, a wife, a mother of 3, and I work full time for a very good company, provide the only income for our family, we live comfortably, and I'm 28.
I have a good husband, stay at home dad and he does all the house work and dinner and takes good care of the kids.
SOO... I met this guy and it is SOO much more than your usually- 'oh, I feel some chemistry there', because I've felt that many times and the heart flutters and i'm self conscious and I just plow through it and ignore it, it happens to us all- right?
But this one- this feels like a once in a lifetime thing, i made a connection with him instantly. from the bottom of my heart and his too. I just really, really miss him, I want to talk to him and I think of him all the time and it is dri


Asked by Anonymous at 8:42 PM on Sep. 26, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • yes,..but i too am happily marriedand would never leave my husband.but the man i think of is someone i used to see. not just a guy that i i guess a little different..every time i think of him i just think i am glad i knew him..and i GENUINLY have love for him but then i know i have an amazing husband whom i love dearly and adore and would never leave. people make an impact on our lives for a reason..the man you met is supposed to be there but is up to you how he is there.think of your family first. let this new man go..if you REALLY cant live without him then there's alot to think about.

    Answer by naturepeace at 11:39 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • it is driving me crazy. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks and i talk to him him about work and he's told me how much he misses me to.
    So what to do? I can't imagine not knowing him. Think I can turn it into a friendship? At the moment i can't imagine wanting to do anything but hold him and love him. But my other choice is to never speak with him again.
    My heart is breaking- I cry about three times a day. he is heart sick as well.
    I'm thinking this is a no win situation, maybe I just want someone else to confirm that....

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Yes it is a no-win situation. Every time he drifts into your mind push him out and think of your husband and family instead. Since you are a Christian, take this matter to Jesus. Pray sincerely. Don't permit yourself to think of this person at all. No, do not think of there being a friendship there, it isn't worth the heartache.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:01 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Hugs, Bmat has a great answer and remember that the grass is not greener on the other side.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • I agree.. just dont talk, think, listen, speak of, or anything! You may still think of him but do not tempt yourself. If you are already thinking of him in this way that only means that if the situation presents itself for more to happen, you will just go for it w/o thinking. Temptation is a very powerful thing. But you said you are a Christian correct? Lust and temptation is a commandment. Pray about this. Ask and have faith that God will take this temptation and lustful thinking away. There are always going to be things that try to get in the way of marriage you just have to be stronger than it. Good luck

    Answer by ashleyuc07 at 10:44 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Not judging or bashing...but if your marriage is THAT good, you shouldn't be thinking about someone else. I mean, if you are truely happily married then this shouldn't be an issue. Yes...there are times of temptation...but you forge ahead and move on...and think to yourself...Wow, I still have it...and then go home to your loving husband and appreciate what you really have. One thing is for sure...good husbands are VERY RARE!

    Answer by sonja911 at 10:57 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • If you loved your husband and your marriage was good you would not be feeling that way. As a Christian you need to be on your knees praying to God for forgiveness for this sin. God put you and your husband together and you need to value that and work to keep it a healthy marriage. Think about your kids and your husband. Marriage is about dying to self and becoming one. I will pray for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • You don't have a good marriage if you are constantly thinking of someone else.   Something is lacking.  You need to identify it and deal with it, or else leave your husband.


    Answer by beeky at 11:35 PM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • Thanks everyone. I know I have done wrong and I know it says in Matthew that thinking it is as bad as doing. Also, I knew that putting up the post and seeing the thoughts of others would make this more of a reality- and a stupidity. I think the biggest thing wrong with my marriage is that I feel like I work too much and don't get to contribute as much to the home as I think a mother should. I want him to work so I can get a job with less hours, maybe part time, and he thinks that means he's not doing a good job. He is, but there's just some things a mother wants to do.
    I do need to ask for help (I have, but maybe not sincerely enough) and forgiveness, I know this should not be taken lightly. I always scoffed at others, because I thought i had felt temptation and laughed at it and gone on home. But nothing like this, I will beat this (with His help) but with scars.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Sep. 27, 2009