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Is it wrong that I don't tell my husband that I hate sex?

I still let him every now and then. I love him and I fear if I tell him he'll take it personal. It's me not him! Sex almost repulses me for the last two years. I tried a lot of stuff. I know it's important to him and am glad he doesn't go elsewhere, but man do I hate it!

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Sep. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You need to talk to him. You also need to talk to your dr. Your hormones may be off and they may have some way to help you. But he needs to know what you are going through.

    Answer by Petie at 12:20 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • wow, just wow. maybe you should get some help with that. and yeah, you're right. that will totally mess with his ego. i know pregnancy can cause things like that. i didn't mind giving BJ's but once i got pregnant that all went down the drain. that was almost 3 years ago and i still don't give BJ's. gross. but doctors say that if you have no sex drive after 6 months of having your kid then you should seek help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • My husband said that he would take it personally because guys always do when it comes to that. And u should try to deal with it on your own; perhaps seek sex therapy or something, because it should be enjoyable not repulsing for you.

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 12:27 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • im exactly how you are and i told my hubby..i didnt want him to think it was him...the dr's havent helped me a bit.. so let me know if they help you!

    Answer by tnteaton at 12:56 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Uh, I've been that EXACT same way lately. NOTHING is working. I hate it even if it's "good" for me, you know? I just hate it. I've said that I didn't want to do it (because he want's to do it 3-4 times a friggin' week) and he takes it so personally. I hate it for him because it's not really him. I just don't want to do it. I do it anyway most of the time but it always takes me a minute to talk myself into it.

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 2:14 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I have to agree, if you flat out tell him, he will take it personally. Even if it isn't him, it will eat at him because he will think you lied to make him feel better. If you don't like sex at all, you may want to talk to someone to find out why if something has changed. If you have never liked it, I still think you should talk to someone and see if there is an underlying cause. I am the evil sex monster in my family, I admit it. My poor hubby, he just tells me he isn't 17 any more. lol I did get to where sex repulsed me with my ex hubby though, which isn't like me. I had to dig around and find out why. It was worth the effort to get the professional help. There was a lot of resentment, frustration, and I was physically exhausted is what it came down to. So, yeah, don't tell him and talk to a pro. You will be happy you did.

    Answer by BunniBunni at 5:42 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I hate it too. Sometimes it grosses me out. I make myself do it so he doesn't get mad, but that's only about 1 or 2 times a month. He knows how I feel about it though.

    Answer by 3boymom at 6:55 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I was honest with my husband and he has been really great. We know it is a medical issue so he is not feeling emasculated. If your marriage is not secure enough you cannot share this with him you have even bigger issues than a dislike of sex. So far there has been no solution to my issue but we have found ways to keep hubby satisfied and not make me uncomfortable. We are a partnership so we work together. Talk to him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

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