Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Non custodial parents or parents that have overnight custody arrangements

We have an arrangement with my husband's ex where she gets my stepson two nights a week. Well, he really likes having the other parent call to say goodnight, just as a reminder that he is still thought of. My husband and I always call, but Mom usually only calls once or twice out of the 5 nights he is at home. Sunday night, we called her right before bed. Monday, he decided he didn't want to call. Tuesday, she called but he was in the shower and when he called back, she didn't answer. Thursday and Friday, we called and got answering machine and left messages. Neither call was returned. When we dropped SS off today, my husband told her that if she said she was going to call, she needed to, or she needed to call as soon as she could because it is really upsetting him. She said that since she moved last week, she has been too busy to call. She said this in front of him and he just started crying. Have you ever been too busy call?

Answer Question
 
Mom1Stepmom1

Asked by Mom1Stepmom1 at 4:12 AM on Sep. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,498 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I am NEVER to BUSY for my child EVER. I see why you and your hubby have him most of the time. I would have to slap the bio mom right across the face if I heard her say that. My step-child's mother always calls sometimes twice a day to talk with the kids. They will call there mom anytime they want to talk to her. We call them just about everyday. We all have a good relationship I will spend an hour chatting on the phone with there mother and the kids will talk to me when ever they know there mom is on the phone with me. My hubby and her will talk about other thing then the kids. Shit they were together for just about 10 yrs and I have known her longer then I have known him. It's nice when we can all just have a good relationship and we are all adults about things. But for your situation I have never heard of a mother saying that they have been to busy for there child especially in front of the child. I would have cried to.

    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 4:22 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • How sad. I think it would be best for the little boy if the calls were at a certain time, say 7.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:26 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I call BS. My husband calls every night from wherever he happens to be in the country, and it has been most of the us and canada, when he is on the road. That is what cell phones are for. Those goodnight calls are important. The only time he doesn't call is if he can't get a signal. 1 night out of 28 maybe.

    You can't do anything about her but you can make it clear that he is not the reason she won't call. It's her not him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • They are supposed to be between 6:30 and 7:00. We call between the two on Wednesday, and my husband calls him at her house at 7 on Saturdays, I usually call a little later, like 7:15 because that is when I get my break from work. I just didn't think a 5 minute phone call would be so hard that you could only do it once a week.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:30 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • When dss was smaller we called two times a week. We did this because when he was living with us we felt he adjusted better to the environment with just the 2 calls per week. Otherwise, he kept being reminded of the other parents home and had a hard time settling into our routine. Now that he is older, he has a cell and can call us whenever he likes. And yes, there were weeks, when he was younger when we missed our calls. Like when we were in the process of moving to Germany. No phone service for a couple weeks, and the prepaid phone cards didn't give us very many minutes so it took time for us to get phone service we could use to make the calls. There are times when it gets busy. Honestly, I don't agree with having the other parent call nightly. But that is how I feel, others may not have the same reasons or experiences we did that brought us to that conclusion.
    Petie

    Answer by Petie at 11:56 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • We don't call nightly. If my kids want to speak to me while at their dads they call me. When they are with their dads it is his time. Same at my home. My kids are free to call him anytime and free to call me anytime. They usually don't since they are active and busy kids. Also not setting that up keeps my kids from worrying about a phone call they can just enjoy their time with their dad or with me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.