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My nephew might be getting neglected...help me!

My sister lives out of state and has a rocky marriage but refuses to come home. Well she called me last night crying that she made a mess of her life. Recently he has been telling my sister "take this chore of a child from me, Im done with him, I cant take him anymore" My bro in law is a piece of crap who has a piss poor job while my sister works hers ass off doing all the responsibilites of a wife as well as working extra hours for more money on her 7am-7pm shift at the hospital. Is it possible that he is neglecting my 3 month old nephew in the middle of the night because he cant stand him? My sister is worried about her kids but wont leave him....what do I do to help her? Her hubby has a temper... is it possible his temper and his hatred for the baby could make him hurt the baby one night or take it out on my 2yr old niece even though he has no problem with her?

Please help. I need any advice or suggestions. Im so worried!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:06 AM on Sep. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • CONTINUED:::::
    Plus he has been writing things on his facebook about how much his kids are a burden and he wishes he didnt have them!!!
    How do I make my sister wake up to this horror the kids are living in? I wish I had enough space to go into everything but this is just the most important stuff that is worrying me!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Wow.  You can't force someone to "wake up".  They either care enough to get themselves out of a situation like that or they don't.  My sister is in a similar situation except the children aren't hers, they are his.  And he still doesn't want them.  I would call CPS to be honest.  If she isn't going to be strong enough to stick up for her own children, then I would myself.   I'm so sorry that I can't offer any more advice or help on it.  I'm lost.


     

    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 7:37 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Okay, I'm thinking as I'm rereading, lol.  Is it possible that he is just venting but doesn't really mean anything by it?  Like sometimes I'll say "my kids are driving me freaking nuts" but in reality, I'm fine, just needing to vent.  Still though, saying they are a "burden".  That is what has me upset about that situation.  Thats pretty harsh. 

    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 7:39 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • If your sister called you crying things must be pretty bad. I would just talk to her and tell her your concerns. I wish she was not out of state,that way you could talk face to face. If this guy is making remarks about the kids then you have every right to be concerned. Especially with the comment "I'm done with him, I can't take him anymore"- clearly he is letting her know of his frustrations. Your sister needs to realize the seriousness of all of this. Don't give up if need be you suggest that you will help with the children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • If your sister called you crying things must be pretty bad. I would just talk to her and tell her your concerns. I wish she was not out of state,that way you could talk face to face. If this guy is making remarks about the kids then you have every right to be concerned. Especially with the comment "I'm done with him, I can't take him anymore"- clearly he is letting her know of his frustrations. Your sister needs to realize the seriousness of all of this. Don't give up if need be you suggest that you will help with the children.

    Agreed.
    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 7:44 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • If this is the case, why don't you or other family members speak to your sister and tell her that someone in the family will take the children until she can settle her life a bit? Sure, it maybe the easy way out for her, but not for the children. Are the children his?? Hey, some of us go through hard times in our lives and have children and this too will pass. I'd be over at my sister's door telling her I'm come for the children and take them for a week. Give everyone a break!
    happynewyorker

    Answer by happynewyorker at 7:59 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I ASKED THE QUESTION:::

    Thank you for your answers and last night and this morning I voiced my concerns. She told me she is afraid of him putting a pillow over the babys face so he doesnt hear him cry or shes afraid of shaking baby syndrome. She wont give me the kids and she wont leave. Shes going to tell her hubby today she wants him to take an anger management class and get medicated. Wtf!?! Is she serious? And what happens to the kids in the meantime? She was going to leave him but she got pregnant and now things are worse. When is she going to realize the kids come first? She moved to another state with him, all of her family is here in my state? What are we going to do? I am sorry to vent...Im just really worried about them and I am disappointed that even though she feels he may hurt the baby....she is staying there with him!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:16 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Im just really worried about them and I am disappointed that even though she feels he may hurt the baby....she is staying there with him!


    I feel for you so much. I am so sorry that she won't let you help. Is she a drama queen? Like, someone who has to have pity parties a lot? I'm wondering because I can't see how a mother would be scared that their hub is going to put a pillow over her babys face and she still won't do anything about it. I find that disgusting, just my opinion.
    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 8:19 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • If your sister wont leave him. That is telling me that her herself is afraid of him. Afraid of what he will do to her or/and the kids if she does leave. I had a family member who got mixed up with the wrong guy. He ended up sexually, phsy.mentally hurting the kids(3 of them), And giving her drugs and alch.which she never did anything of. Now she is in jail with the ex boyfriend. the oldest got put into foster care and was recently adopted. and the 2 other were taken away from her. His son is also in foster care. I recomend that you talk to her and try to get through to her.Even if she has to leave things behind. You and the kids are more inportant then material things that can be replaced. Have them move with u for a month, until she can get a job and a place to live.
    kathynej7142007

    Answer by kathynej7142007 at 9:02 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • HE IS GOING TO KILL THAT BABY, AND POSSIBLY THE 2 YEAR OLD AND YOUR SISTER TOO! Do whatever you have to do to get them out of there ASAP!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

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