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My husband will be working away, how do I cope with the loneliness?

We moved to a new country 10 months ago and I didnt speak the language, Im getting there and starting a part time job soon, My husband just got a job and it requires him to work away for 6 weeks at a time, I am still a bit unsettled here and Im not sure how to deal with him being away, I feel very lonely. Im trying to be strong for him but finding it very hard. What can I do to make me feel less lonely and how do I cope with my best friend being gone for that amount of time?

I know there are many people who dont get their loved ones coming home at all but if anyone has any advise on how to feel better and confident it would help greatly.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on Sep. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Ok, I can relate. We just moved to Japan (my dh is in the military). Here are a couple of things that can help, but a lot of it is going to depend on your specific situation (please feel free to pm me if you want to talk about specifics - not where exactly you are or anything, but more details about what country, what sort of job, etc - because what you can do often will depend on that sort of thing).

    Here's one thing - if there's a relatively good sized population of Americans (I'm assuming you're American) there, do they have a Community Center? If so, check into that - they often offer classes and exchanges between the US residents and the Locals. Like, here, there was recently a class for US to take where Japanese people taught Origami and there was lunch. It's a good way to meet people from your host country, and it's also a good way to meet other people from your home country.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:59 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • It is hard to do. But you just do what you usually do on a daily basis. Talk to your DH As much as possible


    Answer by louise2 at 9:01 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Make goals and create your own routine. Get to work on those goals, and in the routine, include him in it somehow. If he can call or IM or email with regularity, then include that in your routine, otherwise make it a letter or email that you write to him every day. I always do mine at night.

    And hang in there. 6 weeks is a short period of time. So don't change your routine too much because it will completely change again when he comes home.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 9:03 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • cont

    Buy a phrase book, and try to learn the language. I SUCK HARD at Japanese, but I'm trying to learn. The effort to learn the host country's language is usually really appreciated - even if it's not perfect. Take your phrase book with you for help - also, check with the City Hall, the Town Center, etc, to see if there are any classes in the language, and for tourist things to do.

    If you're on base, sign up for classes, join playgroups, and get involved in your spouse groups (they aren't all drama and gossip - some are, but not all).

    Invite a neighbor over for tea, or lunch, or etc. Take your little one to the park, and using your phrase book, try to have a conversation with another mom there :-)


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:04 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Those are ways to keep yourself busy and and start to feel more at home in your new environment, which will go a long way towards making it easier for yourself when he's gone, as well as making it more fun and more like home when he's not gone.

    As far as when he's gone - like the pp's said - stay busy, set goals for yourself, and write / email / talk on the phone with him when you can. Also, when things get too hard and you're feeling way overwhelmed, as silly as this sounds - go take a shower. Stand in the hot water and just cry - get it out of your system. The water is warm and soothing, and it's private. But eventually you're going to run out of hot water - when the water starts to get cold, then start to dry up the tears, and then get out of the shower and DO something - clean a closet, go to a movie, go explore your new town, ANYTHING that will keep you from wallowing in your sadness. It helps!


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:09 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Thank you for your replys.
    I will try my best to keep my chin up and stay positive, as i mentioned my confidence is gone and I am starting a parttime job soon and I feel so unnerved about it and I would never have felt like this in my home country!! Just all seems overwhelming!
    But thanks again for the replys :o)

    Answer by gatitos at 5:15 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

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