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How would you advice your teener son to stay away from a gay "friend" whom you know has interest on him?

My 17 year old son has a gay friend whom he considers a friend without malice. But I knew from a mutual friend of this gay's feelings toward my son. Should I advice him pointblank to avoid that gay friend? My son is not gay.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Sep. 27, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (19)
  • You need to be asking your son lots of questions, and talk to him about this. Don't just be like well you can't be around him and so on cause that will make him be more interested in his friend.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 10:44 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I would handle it the same way I would if my son (who, btw, is 16) had a female friend that had a crush on him and he didn't feel the same way.

    I would explain that friendship is fine, but if he doesn't have romantic feelings he needs to make sure that he is clear, in a kind way, that he doesn't, and not be inadvertently sending mixed signals. The gay factor would be beside the point.

    Also, if this friend is, in fact, gay, and does, in fact, have feelings for your son, I would discourage sleepovers - the same as I would with a girl that felt that way towards him. It's not good to put either of them in that situation.

    Hope this helps.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:44 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • your son is old enough to handle his friend....butting in and telling him to avoid that friend will just drive your son to hang out with him more...if your son isnt gay and doesnt mind having gay friends then you have no way to tell him who he can and cant hang out with....best thing to do is leave this alone.
    blueeyedgrl2377

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 10:49 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • are you worried he's going to get seduced by his friend? or his friend might "turn him gay"? I would leave it alone and not say anything. Your son is old enough to handle this him self. Be proud your son is open minded enough to have a friend different from him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Omg why would you try to keep him from someone that is gay? If they are friends let them stay friends... And stop being so judgemental and freaked out about your son having a gay friend! Seriously!
    CandyMama231

    Answer by CandyMama231 at 10:58 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Why in the world would you encourage your son to stay away from his friend because they friend is gay? You are a mean person. You need to STOP being so judgemental and let your son pick his own friends. He may already be aware of the friends feelings and they may have talked about them. Your son cannot catch being gay from his gay friend. Just stop before your alienate your son completely. I would NEVER tell my son he can't be friends with someone because they are gay. I would still love my son even if he was gay.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:30 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I would talk to your son and make sure your son has been upfront and honest with his friend that he is not interested and he is not gay. I do think that some gay people do try and manipulate people to thinking they are gay, especially if they are attracted to someone... I am not trying to make gays look bad, but I do believe many times, kids are manipulated to thinking they are gay.
    TheFriskyKitty

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 11:39 AM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • SailorsWifeMom has the best advice. That would be a perfect, non-judgemental way to handle the issue.
    A crush is not "malice" its simply that a crush.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 12:22 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Um, I wouldn't My sons (17 and 19) have gay friends and I have never kept them FROM having gay friends. My sons aren't gay & their gay friends aren't going to turn them gay. A few of their gay friends have even flat out told my sons that they think that they are cute. My sons don't see it any different as a girl that they aren't interested in saying that to them. They're flattered but it doesn't change their feelings about the person who thinks that they are cute, they still aren't attracted to them. They have, also, had sleepovers with gay friends present and nothing happened. My sons aren't attracted to males and they can even go to a sleepover with a bunch of female friends present and not have sex with them, they don't run around having sex with anything with a pulse. As a matter of fact, at 17 and 19 they're still virgins.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Sep. 27, 2009


  • I wouldnt say a word to my son. He obvisously knows his freind is gay, and he might already know his friend has a crush on him. Its his freindship let him deal with it. Dont butt in with hear say..
    PestPatti

    Answer by PestPatti at 2:42 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

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