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I felt like I had no other choice... was I wrong?

My X showed up at my house lastnight and I told him that I couldn't be with him anymore, that he had hurt me really bad. I figured that this was the only time I could get it through his head and I am not the type of person to slam the door on his face (I wanted to though). He kept telling me that he was sorry and that all the hurtful things he said when he was drunk, he only said because he was drunk. I told him that I just needed to be alone for a while or maybe forever. As the convo went on, I noticed he was drinking, he asked to stay because he was tired, plus he was drinking and I told him that he had to sleep on the couch and that nothing was going to happen between us... before I went to bed I told him, I'm sorry but I just can't do it anymore. He woke up this morning and came in to my room for a goodbye kiss on the cheek... nothing more than that happened.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Sep. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • no u wasnt,it put u guys into good turms with ending the relationship,kind of like a good fare well. i moved from michigan to indiana to get awat from a bad relaytionship and i visited him and it made us both feel better and easier to move on.

    Answer by angelairelan at 12:10 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I think you did the right thing by standing your ground and not giving in and I commend you for it. It is also admirable that you had him stay because he had been drinking and you still stuck to your guns, I am proud of you. You go girl!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • awww that sounds really sad. Im sorry your going through that. But like the PP said good for you for sticking to your grounds. Who knows, maybe he will get his act together and come and try to work things out before its too late. Good luck to you anyway.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • No you where not wrong.

    Answer by louise2 at 12:24 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • You could have called him a cab or had a friend or family member come get him. Allowing him to stay over is like feeding a stray dog. They think they can come back over and over. Getting rid of him is not going to be easy if you keep opening the door to him. Now he knows you will let him in if he is drinking. So it gives him the excuse to keep drinking and he can still come over and stay with you. The next time he will push for more and before you know it he'll be in bed with you and thinking all is well. Do NOT answer the door. Let him sleep outside if you have to but don't let him in. He'll keep this up forever and you will never get on with your life at this rate.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:23 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • no choice? why do you think he did it that way? he wanted you to feel that way. he knows you and is playing you to get what he wants. you always have a choice. he's still controlling your life. make it stop or this will be your life forever and ever. call the police next time. that will stop him. get a restraining order. that will stop him. there are choices. you just didn't choose a good one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I know it wasn't the best choice but it was late and I had to work in the morning (not a very good excuse, I know... the cops was an option but we have no taxi cabs where we live and he has no family here and my family hates him) He will not do it again because I won't allow him too. I will tell him exactly what you ladies have told me. I am a lot stronger now that he hasn't been around and I know that as the days go by, I learn what game he's playing and how to beat him at it. You gotta make mistakes in order to learn how to go about it the next time and I am very good at that.

    Thanks to all of you for your responses :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Honestly, it sounds like you are still excusing his behavior. As long as you keep doing that he is going to keep coming around.

    Answer by FL2AK at 4:16 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

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