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What should I say or do?

I was involved with a gentleman over 15 years ago. We broke relations over 10 years ago because of his cheating ways. I moved to another state and lived there for 10 years. I mainly left because of him. I returned back to my current state. I vowed that I didnt want to hear from nor see him again. My older brother being helpful found him my mistake and invited him back. He came and we reconnected. Things were going well until he started verbally abusing me and threatening to do harm to me and my kids. The police was called and I am now in the process of filing restraining orders against him.
Here is the kicker my niece wants his phone number. Apparently she has had a crush on him for several years and now she wants to hook up with him. She keeps asking me for his # and I keep refusing to give it to her. She is like oh he is my heart and I want to talk to him. It is killing me to know that she is on his side and not mines.

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Quindamomof6

Asked by Quindamomof6 at 2:44 PM on Sep. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Just explaine to her just the kind of man he is, and if she still wants the phone number tell her you don't have it and that she will just have to find it her self, (something like that, maybe word it a bit diferent)
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 2:49 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Yikes kina a risky situation but... I would simply state to your niece it isn't cool what she is doing whether the guy was good or bad... I mean come on options of MEN available out there isn't that limited you gotta steal another relative's lover. Secondly chances are you can tell her the truth about this man she still wants him because she can't have him. I would simply tell her the truth, give her the number, and say, call at your own risk, and MAYBE this guy will leave you alone so you can move on... Sounds icky either way but you ain't going to stop her from dating the guy.
    TheFriskyKitty

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 3:17 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • First of all, good for you for getting him out sooner than later. Second of all, she is younger than you. Remember when you were her age? You thought you could change the world. Only through time did you realize that it takes a lot more than one person to change the world. You are doing good by not giving her the number, but she will get it on her own. Hopefully she is as wise you and will not put up with his crap, but she will have to do this on her own. People have to screw up themselves before they see what went wrong. Good luck, hopefully she will wake up.
    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 4:03 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • If she wants him let her find him herself and learn the lesson the hard way
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:09 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • @ the frisky kitty- true i cant stop her from dating the guy,but where are her morals in this? This man has mentally abused me and threatened my kids. She is a mother herself and would she want someone like that around her children. He has other girlfriends and chances are him leaving me alone are slim to none. Its a game to him and he is out to try and destroy me altogether.
    She lives in another state and he lives where I am. I know that in todays society you can find anyone on the internet. If she does find him it will be herself and not with my help. She has gone after other family members ex's so this one isnt any different. Many old flames of mines has told me that at one point she has came after them but all but one(my sbtx) has turned down her offers for relationships. She isnt a ugly girl but damn cant she find her own man and leave my leftovers alone. He is a dangerous person and she should run from him.
    Quindamomof6

    Answer by Quindamomof6 at 4:21 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • well you don't have to give her the number or help simply tell her, if you want him get him yourself. Flat fact is, she sounds very immature, pity but nothing you can do about it.
    TheFriskyKitty

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 8:40 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

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