Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

vent/question

What to do about a mil that refuses to see any point but her own?
I home school my 2 older boys and she swears its abuse. She has pulled every card from the, oh what about your me time? to oh what about socialization? Now she thinks they're not learning anything only because the other day when they were up in her apartment she asked what they learned today, and being engrossed in their tv show they shrug and say i don't know, nothing i guess. mind you, they are 4 and 5! most 4 and 5 yr olds wont know how to answer such a vague question even if they are in school! i told her she should have asked something like- which books did you read today? or what did you do for math/science/art today? and so on and so forth- that gets them talking! So since she still didn't believe i was doing enough she starts asking me about how long it takes to do "school" and when do i start and so on and so forth, and when i tell her we start at

Answer Question
 
lovelyli217

Asked by lovelyli217 at 5:39 PM on Sep. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 12 (759 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • 10 am she goes "10? first you said 9 now its 10?" and i was like well yeah thats the beauty of home school, we can be flexible and she says yeah well they need to be on a schedule- one day youre starting at 9 next its 10, and the other day you started at 3pm! how are they gonna learn that way? (mind you, the day I started at 3 was because my 2 month old had a cardiologist appt) so after all of this i was frustrated so I told her i would talk later that i didnt feel like arguing, and you know what she does? she goes to my fiance! and tells him they aren't learning enough and that they need to be in school- so he comes and tells me that we're putting them in real school next year! i told hime we will do whats best for them when the time comes whether its public private or home- either way we are doing what we want not what your mother tells us! ugh! what to do!
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 5:44 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • My MIL tried that, and I told her straight out that it's none of her business, and unless she plans on doing all the educating, then stay out of it, or don't come over. I understand that they might be genuinely concerned, but after explaining how it works, they need to back off. You could also encourage your kids to show off what they learned to her. That's another thing I did, and all is well.
    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 5:46 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • if you both agreed to have them home schooled then you should stick with it! i would sit him down and ask his reasons for wanting to put them in public school, and make sure his mother didnt force this on him. why would he have a sudden change of heart about it?
    danette624

    Answer by danette624 at 5:48 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • first of all,i would say.Is there a reason why you dont believe im capable of doing this? then when she starts talking about how they arent socializing then say,if your that concern than you can pay for private school,and i would finish by telling her you dont appriciate her going behind your back telling your man stuff,its not in her place because they are NOT her kids,then say would you like me to tell you what i think of you as a mom,?
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 5:50 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I'd say you and your fiancee need to be on the same page or nothing will ever change with you MIL. You need his support no matter what the decision is. I would sit down with him some time and figure out what you both want. Why does he want them in school? If it's socialization, then what about you do so many activities (library, homeschooling group, playdate, etc)with the kids a week. If it is "book" learning, there are websites (or even your local school) that can give you what each grade level needs to know. Then maybe he will be willing to have them homeschooled as long as both of your goals are met. THEN you would also have his support with his mom!
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 5:52 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • well I don't understand why they would think they aren't learning anything, we bought a curriculum through the Calvert school and they sent everything that i need, and socialization we go to the library and they have friends that live all around us, i think she just doesn't like it because its different and she is throwing everything she can at my fiance who needs to cut the cord already lol, sorry that was mean but seriously im tired of having a 3way relationship, our decisions for our family should be ours not hers and ours

    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 6:01 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I think with many people you will never change their mind about homeschooling - until your kids are grown and successful. Lol!! As long as you and your spouse are on the same page - who cares what anyone else thinks, though you still have to put up with their opinions from time to time! :-)
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 6:21 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Tell her to mind her own business... she raised her kids, now it's your turn to raise yours!! These are not her kids!!! I have MIL issues... I feel for you!!! ;o)

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 7:43 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I have two thoughts. First, invite her to sit through school. Second, let her son deal with her.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:08 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • rkoloms- i did invite her to come and visit and she hasn't yet- and her son wont deal with her- but i see your point- i think i am just going to have to ignore her when she brings up homeschool
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 12:53 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN