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Should I leave my husband?

I don't know why I feel this way! I'm a bad person! My husband loves me very much and never hurts me! He just drives me nuts. He's obsessed with sports and constantly makes excuses for his actions. His entire family are alcoholics and I hate them! He won't stop drinking and he is very irreesponsible with $$. So bad we've had power shut off, It never stops no matter what I do and I feel like I have another kid! He is a great father to his kids and he does love me. I have no desire to have sex and he is no longer attractive to me. What should I do? Where am I going with this? I'm not even sure why I'm oosting this! Anyone been here before?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Sep. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • wait a minute are you telling my story or your own? I'm right there with you sister.. i don't know what to do either.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • i think you answered your own question. reread this andask yourself if he's who you really want.
    naturepeace

    Answer by naturepeace at 10:57 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • OP here! I don't want to hurt him. He'd be devastated and I think it would be hard on my kids. I would be the bad guy of course. I did take vows for better or worse, but - just don't know how to make it through anymore! Can I get those old feelings back? Is this just a hump in our marriage? I just honestly don't know. And BTW Cheating IS NOT an option!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • sometimes it takes leaving for them to wake up. if you pack up the kid(s) and leave and tell him why your leaving. maybe it will be enough for him to realize that he needs to straighten up and get help or ship out.

    northcarolinama

    Answer by northcarolinama at 11:06 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Have you considered marriage counseling?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • We have no insurance right now. He doesn't think we need it, I'm saying we do!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Divorce is much more expensive in many ways than counseling. Do you have a minister or pastor you could talk to? It sounds like it's behavior that could change, not something like he's immediately hurting you or your kids physically. But it will need to change. Are the two of you very young?
    MonicaE521

    Answer by MonicaE521 at 11:19 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Maybe you guys need to talk and sort things out. Reprioritize your lives. I think that maybe you guys have just lost touch. People go thru this. But don't divorce him without trying to work it out. Talk to him. Tell him in a nice calm way that things need to change. Maybe you guys could get counseling. When things continuously irritate people, they start to see the annoyance in the other person, but try to remember all the great times and that these habits of his can be fixed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Just separate for a while to make sure this is what you want to do.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:23 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • Also, my SO's parents just got divorced because she was just so irritated with him. He is extremely devestated. It's put an enormous toll on the kids. Everything has gone to hell since they got divorced. They should have worked it out. Things like that can be fixed. If you KNOW you dont want to hurt him and you KNOW he loves you and your kids....then this is just a hump in your marriage. There are hard times in every marriage but you can get thru it. Please try and work it out before even considering divorce. Also, you guys could try to do something romantic and maybe itll bring the spark back. Or do something nice for him...maybe there will be a chain reaction :) GOOD LUCK
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

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