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He agreed to have another baby, but still isn't excited about the idea. I really want this bad. How do I know this is the right thing to do?

It's the typical husband/wife problem. Before we got married, we agreed two was the magic number. Our first had complications and surgery, but everything is now fine. Plus he is worried about the economy. He has a teenage daughter that is here half of the time. We are like every American step-family. We are getting by and surviving. I have faith that we can do this. One more will be fine. He agreed to one more, but is not excited about the idea like I am. The closer it gets to our plan, the more irritated he gets with me about silly things. He is worried, I know. But we have talked about this until we are blue in the face. What gives?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Sep. 27, 2009 in About CafeMom

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • This sounds a lot like me and my DH! :]
    I'm pregnant with baby #2, and at first, he was definitely against it. And although he accepts that I'm pregnant, and is excited, he's still slightly annoyed. Turns out?
    It's because of the complications I had with our firstborn. Premature labor, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, etc, etc, etc. Hospitalized for 5 weeks until baby came. Care flighted. It was a nightmare.
    The OB told us that it'll be much similar to the first, but he'll be seeing me every 2 weeks beginning at my 20th week. I'm 12 now. But, he said that now I might have a chance at pre-eclampsia, and speaking completely off the wall, it might be troublesome to go full term.

    That's what it all boiled down to. My DH didn't want to lose me, didn't want to be a single father, didn't want this, didn't want that. But after my first OB appt, he loosened up a lot. Maybe that's the case with you and your hubby?
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 11:38 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • I'm really hoping so! His first pregnancy experiance was terrible because his ex hated being pregnant (being fat was not a good thing to her). Then when we went through my pregnancy (that I loved every second of!)...it was hard because we had Dr. after Dr. looking at our confusing case. I had high amniotic fluid and my daughter was holding urine in one of her kidneys (which would usually cause low amniotic fluid). Dr's had us totally stressed out! Turns out our daughter had a third kidney (one was hiding behind the enlarged kidney). And she had surgery at 3 months. Now I know all of this can be hard for anyone, but we survived! Does he really think we'll fall to pieces if everything doesn't go perfectly? He has little faith I tell you! :) I hope it will work out.
    aklebeyers

    Answer by aklebeyers at 11:46 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • My DH is the same way, and I have to say, I had complications that were scary the first time around as well. He is ok with it when we talk logically about it but when I am getting excited about testing, he just gets grumpy. I don't know what the solution is but I think that once the LO is here he will be a much happier camper.
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 11:46 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

  • lol. Most guys have little faith when it's something that can be altering like this, and they don't have the power to "save us" Especially my husband. He's the classic hero/protective type, which I love, but sometimes it's just like "This is out of your hands. Relax, Calm down. Go away." :D
    I'd have to agree with auroura. We'll have happier DH's once the baby's here, and everything is fine.
    Good luck to us both!
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 11:57 PM on Sep. 27, 2009