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How do you get rid of a thought that totally consumes you and depresses you?

I caught my DH and his lover in bed together a year ago. We are still trying to work through the pieces of our marriage and be together. But the memory of my DH and his lover in bed together is still fresh as day in my mind and whenever I think about it, I get so depressed and cant function. I hate him for what he did and yet I still love him.

But I need to know how to shift my thoughts into something more positive whenever this happens. I need tips, coping strategies. PLEASE!!! I am thinking about it right now and its still as painful as the day I found out. I need help, please!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:59 PM on Sep. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Bubbles

    Answer by always_chris at 12:01 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I don't think I could really. Props to you for being so strong and trying,.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • i write poems.....they dont have to rhyme...they just have to be how i feel on getting my anger and furriness i write.....and i get through it... because then i can have him read how i feel instead of getting all upset and helps.....i wish you luck

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 12:04 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • You shouldn't really have to "not think about it".... By your staying and accepting it, you are destroying yourself... WHY? He did wrong. Plain and simple. It seems to me, you need to deal with it by kicking his ass to the curb... Why settle?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I dont understand the 'bubbles" comment...pls explain

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • just pray to God to help you move on

    and I'm sorry that happen (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

    Answer by looovemybabies at 12:17 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Do you believe in God? If so, He is always with you and can help you forgive and move on. Don't let this depress YOU...HE was the one in the wrong. Props to you for sticking it out. Maybe try praying that God remove these thoughts when they come to mind and replace them with thoughts of what you have been blessed with. Good luck!

    Answer by Jakesmom1107 at 12:56 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Wow, I really couldn't imagine getting something like that out of my head either, but I suppose if you decided to stay with him, you want to be happy, right? The best advice I can give you is consult with God on it if you believe in him. Psalms 147:3 He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Like the above poster I believe that God will help you. Pray. From my experince though YOU have to forgive from your heart. When you do that and the bad thought come back into your mind say "but I forgive him" It is not trying not to think about it or saying it is ok. Forgiveness is letting God deal with him. It is letting you stop being consumed by his cheating. It is not dismissing it or anything else like that or letting them off the hook. It is just letting yourself be free from obsessing about it. You can take comfort in knowing that one day we will have to answer to Him for judgement. I hope that makes sense. Pray to God that you forgive your husband and whenever the thoughts come back do it again.

    Answer by stickyfingers at 1:09 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Bubbles. Some advice I received a few years back when dealing with a nasty divorce. When you feel overwhelmed by what the jerks are putting you through just do this.

    Close your eyes and pictures yourself walking through a beautiful forest. The sunlight is dappled through the canopy of leaves. The crisp aroma of earth and moss clears you mind. You hear the sound of water ahead through the trees. You follow the sound until you find yourself standing before a beautiful waterfall. It's about 50 feet high and on the other side of water from where you are. On this side the water is calm except for the gentle ripples spreading out from the base of the falls. You sit on the banks on the soft moss. Song birds are warbling softly. You feel at peace. There are gentle little bubbles floating up in still water in front of you. They are coming from that jerk that pi**ed you of.

    Now, don't bubbles make you happy?

    Answer by always_chris at 2:31 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

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