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How to get over the bad-mom blues. How do you overcome "that moment" when your child is testing you and you are stressed?

My DH and I have very different parenting styles. He is sooo easy going and I am mannors and on top of everything. I have more of the work with parenting because of our schedules. As well, am more stressed than he. My husband is the typical man with that attitude of "I can handle it fine, why can't you?" And when I take a day to myself and come home to a stressed hub, and say "Frustrated are you?" He side steps it to the "This is cake" attitude! I love my husband, but the guilt trips and lack of understanding get to you after a while. My husband cannot relate to my stressful times. How do you handle things when you are home alone and in that "moment" when your child is testing you and you just want the day to be over!? I need refreshing ideas, because I can't always "escape from the moment".

 
aklebeyers

Asked by aklebeyers at 12:28 AM on Sep. 28, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (19 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Oh...what a question. lol. It IS easier for men because they dont worry about things. While you are analyzing every little detail about what to make for lunch (they had fruit for breakfast so need a veggie with lunch and not too much sugar because they had a bunch of milk...and so on) he is looking in the freezer thinking "Oh, chicken nuggets would be quick."

    Sometimes to escape, I pack up DS and head to the dollar store. I let him pick out a new coloring book or book to read and I pick out some things for myself or new products to test. When we get home, he has quiet time in his room coloring while I sit on his floor and read a magazine or something. It is a nice relaxing way to spend time together.
    jenellemarie

    Answer by jenellemarie at 2:31 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • lol... I experience that a lot!!! What I do is step out of the situation. Some kids test you at those "perfect" moments where you are just on edge, and they are probably feeling the same way. So those moments I'm feeling overwelmed I do not neglect correcting inapporpriate behavoir, but I also try to find a "positve time out" for all of us, or a distraction from the chaos. Sometimes I go for a walk with the kids, or find a fun activity that they will like, or something to that extent. Experiment and find what works, and it may change from day to day too. I hope this helps, but just know your not alone. We ALL get overwelmed.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 12:40 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • OH I understand!! I have four kids ages 14, 7, 3, and 2! It is practically a daily thing for me to be very overwhelmed and stressed out. I love my kids very much but it is hard! What I do is give them something to do. Go make your beds or do you wnat ot help me? Take them outside to play. Get some puzzles out or playdoh. I have noticed in my house a lot of the time when my kids are acting up a lot it is because they want my attention and they need to get outside and burn off some steam!
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 12:58 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • man my dh is the same way. sometimes i just walk out of the room.say screw it catch my breath for 5 mins and then deal with the situation.
    nurbabe82

    Answer by nurbabe82 at 9:16 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • My kids are older now, but when they were little and that happened I would says- lets change the view and we would go out... anywhere- go get a slurpee, go for a walk, go out back and play, go to the playground, the park, the library- anything to change the scenery! I would also plan something for the next morning-like a quick swim or trip to the park so the next day starts off on a good note!
    wildboyz1994

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 9:58 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I have always been a laid back parent. I don't sweat the small stuff, I don't care if my child jumps on the couch or bed. I take things one day at a time. I discipline when needed, I talk over things with my son when needed. I let him make messes, I let him have fun. He still has to use his manners and be respectful but I really have learned to pick my battles or I would always be nagging my child. He needs to be able to make mistakes and learn from them. Some things he learns natural consequences, others he learns when I punish him. If you have to, just walk away, take a breather. Have a cup of coffee, let them watch a movie.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:08 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

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