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If you are a single mom, what helped you the most?

I am getting over my sons father one step at a time. I don't call him anymore, or text. But sometimes I still want to know why he hasn't tried to reach out to his son. Someone said that maybe he just does not care. My question is: what helped you get over your childs dad? When did you stop wondering about him? I'm getting there, but I'm not there yet.

Some of you may be tired of reading my posts about him. But I've healed a little since my last spaz. lol

I want to know who or what got you to the point of saying, I'm through with him and this stress and this worry. It's not easy so please don't tell me to just move on.

Answer Question

Asked by Queentdi at 9:13 AM on Sep. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (55 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • No one said it's easy. We trusted these men. We bore their children with the promise that these men would stand with us and help rear children. We loved them. We did our part and then the day came when reality smacked us in the face and we had to face the fact that we were alone in this new adventure. We turn into the Indiana Jones of our life and face all the obstacles thrown at us. The difference is that Indiana searched for the Holy Grail and in our life the children ARE our Holy Grail but we have to provide, protect and carry them through life by ourselves. We find the strength but the emotional low is always there wondering why did Dad bail out? The betrayal hits us hard but we are moms and we keep on our quest to help guide the children to grow up and not be men like dad or not fall for men like dad who don't have balls enough to step up to the plate. I'm very proud of you. Moving on is a slow process but you'll make it

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:28 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Slow is absolutely right. Atleast I don't cry anymore. Thanks for that analogy.

    Answer by Queentdi at 9:38 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I would say it is important to do things to improve yourself. Work on exercise or reading something for u to keep your focus off him.

    Saw u say you had a spaz and it made me laugh. This weekend I started telling my dd she is spazmatic. (instead of asmatic). she thought it was its ok to have a spasmattack every once in a while!!!

    Answer by ria7 at 11:02 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I think you need to do some thinking and figure out what it is that makes you not want to let go.And then you'll know what to work on for your own happiness.Maybe he has a personallity like your father(something like that?

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:35 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • And if you need to get on here, to make your self feel better.then do it as much as you need.It's free therapy.

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:37 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Think about how much ur baby means to you, and realize that he is impacting ur kids life in a negative way, by not being there. As much as you may care for him, can you really be all that concerned about someone who is choosing to disrespect ur baby. That's how I looked at it, and I haven't been with my daughter's father in almost 3 years, and it helps. I'm not saying that I don't ever think about him, but I can only stand the thought for a little while before anger comes over me for what he did by missing out on her life, and then I just feel bad, 'cause I think she's the best thing ever, and he is missing it.

    Answer by Sharde88 at 7:02 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • To ria7: Yes you have to spaz out sometimes. lmao. I would scream and cry in the mirror and imagine that he was my reflection. It used to hurt to think of him. Then afterward I would breathe and say, "now where was I?" and carry on with my day. We call it spazzing, my mom says bipolar

    To evelynwest: I have taken some time to figure out what else makes me happy. Sometimes he showed me that he wanted to do better, but he seems to want to make me happy without including our son. It's OUR son. I didn't introduce them to each other. There are mixed feelings and I know for sure that I do not want to be with him I already know that will be a foolish move. And yes I do appreciate and love cafemom, because of people like you.

    To sharde88: One of the reasons I left him alone is so that I won't be stuck trying to explain to my precious son why daddy is not around. I'd rather the two of us live happily ever after. Thanks ladies.

    Answer by Queentdi at 5:36 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

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