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Do you look down on a women that is 25 with 5 kids

I have a cousin that is 25 and have a 10, 8, 7, 5 and 1. I really do not want her near my daughter thinking it is ok to have that many kids and not married. all with different daddies.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Sep. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • No. I just pity them and the life they have brought upon themselves and their children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I don't think she's going to make your daughter ok with it. To me, when you see a single woman with 5 kids, it usually makes you think "I don't want that." because 5 kids can be quite the hassle.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I can understand your point. If she is the type that has a life that is a mess and thinks it OK than I agree, she is not a good role model for your daughter. I also could not be friends with someone whose life I can not agree with at all. I am not saying I have to agree 100% with my friends, but we need to have the same basic values in place otherwise there is no common ground to stand on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I suppose it would depend.

    When I turned 25 I had been married for 6 1/2 years and my children were 5 1/2, 4, 1 1/2 and 3 mos. old. I am now 42, will celebrate my 24th anniversary in 3 weeks and my sons are just turned 23 (born 10 mos. & 7 days after I got married), almost 22, just turned 19 and almost 18. I had a 5th child as well, a stillborn daughter who would be 20. So, had I had 5 children by 25 they would have all had the same dad so how how could you judge me? I had a lot of people who assumed that they had different dads and I was a stupid girl who didn't know anything. They were wrong, they didn't KNOW me.

    On the other side. I know a 21yo who has 4 sons who are 4 1/2, 3, 2 & newborn and they all have different dads. You could judge her I suppose but how would you know her life history unless you knew her personally? They could all have the same dad & she could be married. I know her & I feel sorry for her sons.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Depends on the situation. If she is raising the kids right and taking care of them on her own then more power to her, she made bad choices and is working to make their life better. If she is a crap mom who parties all the time and doesn't give a damn, then I suppose I might judge her a little.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • A single Mom with 5 kids by different fathers? That is a trainwreck, a disaster, and she probably needs some counseling. And maybe her tubes tied? That is just alarming and so wrong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • If she is raising them well, on her own (financially), and everyone is happy, then i don't have a problem with it.

    Doesn't sound like that is the situation you are refering to. 5 different daddies starting at age 15? I would judge her as irresponsible, selfish, and immature.

    I would limit contact with your dd and your cousin if it were me.
    citymama707

    Answer by citymama707 at 11:25 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

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