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Adopting. My parents aren't thrilled.

Me and my husband have decided to adopt a child. We have been trying to conceive for three years and I was recently told that it just wouldn't happen for us. We are looking at different agencies but have found out that it costs less and takes alot less time to adopt a child that is an African American or mixed. Race has never bothered us and we decided that is what we'd do because every child needs a good home. My parents are not happy with our decision and are talking down about getting a child of another race. It upsets me,because we've been through so much though all the fertility drugs and I've had one miscarriage at 5 weeks and lost our son at 5 months along and we just really want to be parents. I want them to be happy for us for getting a baby, not just upset because the baby won't be white. Has anyone else gone through this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:07 AM on Sep. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • omg! how stupid! if that's what you and your dh want, then go for it...forget what everyone else thinks
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • They can't help the way they feel though. I think that it's heroic of them for stepping up and admitting that they don't know if they will be able to accept the child as their own grandchild. You need to know that in the beginning before it's too late. I can't say I wouldn't feel the same way really in all honesty. Respect their feelings, you can't make someone change the way they feel.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I have fertility issues and have not been able to concieve a child on my own. I applaud you in your decision to adopt, and race should never matter when it comes to giving a child a good home. My grandparents, and probably my parents would react the same way because thats how they were raised. Don't let it stop you from doing what your heart tells you to do! Good luck!
    jillisue808

    Answer by jillisue808 at 11:10 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • That's great that you want to adopt, it is you and husband's decision. If you decide to, maybe in time your parents will change their mind, if they don't, it will still be a blessing to you both, and to the child as well. People also adopt alot from China, if that is a consideration.
    3rdDay

    Answer by 3rdDay at 11:11 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Heroic? More like intolerant.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • SO your wanting to do something b/c it's cheaper or it's something that actors and actresses are doing?!?!?!?!? There are plenty of american homeless and foster babies here that need a family and love. This is a big decision and adopting is great but I'd look closer to home first.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • OP here: It costs TWICE as much. Our adoption will cost us 24,000 up front. To adopt a white child, it's nearly 50,000. I don't see it as getting the cheaper version. I love children and I don't care if mine is pale or dark. How is it intolerant anon? I'm not adopting from overseas because the time it takes to adopt could be up to three years.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • OP here. Sorry, anon! I misread what you said about heroic/intolerant!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • clappingI don't know why your parents are not thrilled with your decision but I'm proud of you

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:30 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Yea, I was talking about your parents, not you. lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

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