Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

A question about blended families? Do you get it?

I am from a blended family.I have one full brother. Our parents were together for 18 years,in an ugly abusive relationship. We were about 12 (me)9(him). My dad got a girlfriend before the divorce was final. My mom got married and moved to the other side of the u.s,leaving my bro and I w/our dad. Our eventual step mom was evil to us. Our step dad was not much better. My Dad comes from a broken family too,he has no full bio syblings and none that are close w/him at all. They all have eachother and exclued him. My question is if you are from a family that has never had divorce or half syblings do you understand the implications of a family that has the complications of being broken? My SIL thinks that we should all just be one big happy family but she comes from an intact family.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Sep. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • My family and upbringing was about as blended as you can get. I don't have any "full" siblings, but four half, two of which I've never met, and two step. My husband's parents are still together and he understands my family very well. It depends on the person's point of view and if they have a realistic outlook on life.
    Seven07

    Answer by Seven07 at 11:22 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Blended families are like in-laws. There is not the "growing up together" aspect that comes with being together since birth, raised by the same parents. That is not a bad thing, but it does give relationships a whole new dimension as you stated. I can see how you are frustrated with your SIL not understanding that.
    wildboyz1994

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 11:26 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • :( Your story is sooo sad. I have a daughter and one on the way due in DEC. I married my husband in 2007 and he had 1 son from a previous relationship. Well I we found out when I was 8 months pregnant with my first daughter and first marriage that he was also the father of her twins that were born the same month we were married. (we didn't even know she was pregnant) We haven't been given the chance to have anything to do with his sons yet but now my daughter's have 3 brothers and there was only 1 child in the picture when we got together, what kind of crap is this!?!?!?!? Now I want a divorce and to move on and make a better life for my daughters.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • well i can honestly say (i have 2 1/2 sisters) and no "real" sibling of my own. and im NOT that close to my sisters. one is 12 yrs old and the toher is 16 yrs old than me. we talk but nothing spectacular like my husband and his sister. i have on child from a previouse relationship.and one with my husband. i think that you have to do whats best for your kids.if your married and not happy.divorce and find someone new that makes you happy isnt that all you can ask for. and exsplain it to your kids when there old enough...maybe im not understanding the question at hand....
    sandraberke

    Answer by sandraberke at 11:33 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • well when i married my husband he had a 2 yr old son. And now that i'm pregnant my son is going to have a half brother. well we only get his son on the weekends or whenever my husband is off from work. i just feel bad for the boy because his mom is a tramp she has a new boyfriend like every month, and the little boy doesn't have a "normal" family. then my newborn is gonna have his mom and dad including my whole family. and i feel like the little boy is going to be left out and jealous.
    mellyhayes

    Answer by mellyhayes at 11:39 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I have 2 step children I am not allowed to see. Neither of my children have ever met their step siblings. I have never met my older sister. I swear...and now you are making me glad I don't know them...based on what you have said blended families can be like...oh,and btw..neither of my daughters are my husbands;they are previous relationships,so...in a way...I do know...Blessings to you,mama,and GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • My parents did not divorce until I was 19. I was married for 14 yrs with 3 kids when I divorced. I have 3 from my first marriage and 2 from my second. He has one from an ex-girlfriend. It is all about how you deal with things. All 5 of my children are extreemely close and my kids are just as close to my step SD as if she were my own. I am sorry you were raised in such a bad environment, and I cannot imagine misstreating my SD...but you don't have to continue that cycle with your own kids...even if they have different fathers. Life is about what you make it now that you are grown. Try to make the best of what you have.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I come froma blended family. I have a "1/2 sister" but I don't consider her anything but MY SISTER. I had a step-brother.....when we lived together I considered him my brother but his mom and my dad divorced in 1991 so he's really nothing to me but my former step brother now. I have a heart grandson...he's been my grandson since he was 5 mos. old and he's now 4 1/2. I don't think that it should matter. Family is family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.