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i just found out bf is preggo..but her due date is at a bad time...

ok she just got married on fri i was maitrin of honer she also just found out 1 week ago shes preg. she figures end of april she will be due proublm is....my mil booked 2 rooms at disneyland for her and our family. we are to give her 2,000 for the package ( its me dh and 3 kids going ) money isent due till jan. so i joke with bf ohh great u are gonna have a baby when were gonna be on our first family vacation...her reply...it is what it is..( she xpects me to be there, and thinks i shouldnt go ) i would love to be there for and with her but to stop a vacation thats already been booked and have kids miss out, we all booked this way before she got prg. it was booked in the beginning of aug. what am i gonna do? how do i remind her about the vacation when it finally comes up...she knows about it but last thing on her mind ( wedding day was coming up )

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Sep. 28, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Sorry, but she doesn't sound like much of a friend if she can't accept this. Would she truly put YOU before her own husband and baby? Obviously not, or else she would be putting you first in this, and expect you to go on the trip.

    So what, you have to decide between a grown woman who, from the way you describe, always expects to be the center of your world before your own children? I know it's hard, because you don't want to let your friend down (and I'm sure she'll play that card), but look at it this way, if you have to let someone down in this who do you want it to be - a grown woman with a family of her own, or your dh and kids? Do you REALLY want to tell your kids that your friend is more important to you than they are? Because that's what she will basically be asking you to do.

    She will either accept it, or she wasn't really a good friend to begin with.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:39 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Go and have fun!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • uh go on vacation with your kids, she can have her baby without you
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • yeah no seriouse go on vacation. have your fun. you shouldt put your life on hold b/c shes pregnant.
    sandraberke

    Answer by sandraberke at 12:11 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • The trip is in April? Call the travel agent and re-book. There may still be time. Otherwise, go on the vacation without her because she obviously can't re-schedule the pregnancy.
    Madge1428

    Answer by Madge1428 at 12:14 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Not to be mean, but if your friend has a problem with this you need to point out to her that as a new wife and a new mom, you would expect her to put her family's needs before friends. (and yes, I think taking the time - whether it's at Disney or just camping in your backyard to do something memorable together is a need - it's bonding and relationship building!) She can't expect you to not do the same with your family - putting them before her.

    A good, true friend would understand this. There's no guarantee that she's even going to give birth during this time, and it's not like she will be doing this alone - she has her dh, and, I'm assuming, other family (even if not - she has her dh) to be there with her, and this vacation - which is a biggie - was already planned and set up before the baby.

    It's not like she's 8 mos pg and you decided to go on the spur of the moment 3 days ago...
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:18 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I htink you should just go on the trip and see her as soon as you get back. she has a hubby who will be there for her, you have to put your family first.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:19 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Have fun at your vacation, maybe a different person can join you like grandma or a favorite aunt. Obviously this should be discussed with BF before yanking her invite. Get her something else instead. Like a day at a spa (much needed after having a baby). You can order flowers online or over the phone at a local florist so if the due date happens to fall exactly at the vacation date (babies are never on time) you can still send her flowers at the hospital the day of.
    h3art2h0m3

    Answer by h3art2h0m3 at 12:22 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • my mil booked the trip with her timeshres..were supose to go on april vacation so kids dont miss school. and my mil already took that week off, and my mom took that week off so she could babysit our baby. and i told the women i sit for that i cant babysit that week and why so her mil is taken her son. seems like the only way it will work out is if she ends up with a due dat before or after that week. i love my friend but shes very demanding..( my wedding my day, kinda women ) and she seems to see it as your my bf and you have to be there no ifs ands or butts. thats how it is. i just know theres gonna be a fight and i dont want that, but i want to be there for our first vacation and to see kids face when we go.i do want to be there for her but she never understands. i cant do both at the sametime i cant fly back cause shes in labor, im at a loss.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Ok, honestly, in the end I kicked everyone (except my SO) out of the room when I had my baby, so there is always the possiblity that plans will change on her part, and she CANNOT-and should not-expect you to change your plans to accomodate her. I would keep a cell handy so you can get a call from her when she goes to the hospital, and when she has the baby, etc. And have her check with the hospital, my cousin had a baby while her hubby was in basic training for the military and he was on the phone with her during her labor/delivery. Maybe that is something you'd be willing to do for her?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Sep. 28, 2009