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How would you handle it if your teenage sons read your graphic, private messages to your fiance?

I loaned my phone to one of my twins and he gave it back to me 10 minutes later, inexplicably furious. Then he called his twin into their room and the twin got angry with me as well. I never once expected that they would read my messages, or I would have deleted them immediately. I have no idea how to approach them about this. Any advice? They are 16.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Sep. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • i would tell them that people dont hide things you want to see, when you go snooping, you never know what you may find - u may not want to know it.... tell them you are an adult and there is nothing wrong with talking to your fiance that way, snooping on your messages is what is wrong, tell them that i bet they learned their lesson, but if they snoop on you again, you will snoop though their things to show them how it feels to have the shoe on the other foot.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:31 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • i would tell them that people dont hide things you want to see, when you go snooping, you never know what you may find - u may not want to know it.... tell them you are an adult and there is nothing wrong with talking to your fiance that way, snooping on your messages is what is wrong, tell them that i bet they learned their lesson, but if they snoop on you again, you will snoop though their things to show them how it feels to have the shoe on the other foot.

    Ditto.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 3:34 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • They will fall in love one day too! I'd let them know they will understand soon enough and maybe you should snoop when they get girl friends and embarrass them a little.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 3:36 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • well now i want to know what the texts said..... not fair lol.. im just kidding. no im not im nosey....but im right along with the other two
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Post it on Fmylife.com
    MommyKKay

    Answer by MommyKKay at 3:39 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I would tell them that wasn't for their eyes, they shouldn't have been snooping and they can remember this when they have girlfriends and I go snooping through their things! This happened to me too, except it was my niece who read my boyfriends texts that we sent to each other. She asked him if she could play a game on his phone and the little brat went through his messages!! They were some steamy texts too so that was a little embarrassing also but like a pp said, be careful when you snoop, you may find something you will regret seeing! You are an adult and it's not like this was some random guy, it's your fiance.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Ground them. They had no right snooping through your phone in the frst place. Dont let them make you feel bad or guilty. My mom and step-dad write texts to each other like that all the time. I'm 23 and have no desire to see them. Gross.

    Tell them, they had no right to read them and when they get older they'll understand.

    And from now on, delete all your messages....just in case!
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 4:01 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • i WOULD TURN IT WROUND ON THEM, & GET PISSED AT THEM. MAYBE GROUND THEM FOR BEING SO SNOOPY ,THEN RUDE TO YOU. BE THE BOSS.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:09 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I would stop with the graphic messages. LOL. Just whisper them to your Fiance. I never put anything even a little bit racy on the Internet or cell phone....not safe.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Uh uh.... don't let them attempt to control you by using their anger towards you to shame you into submission to them. You are an adult, the adult. You are engaged in an adult relationship and your private communications should not have been breached by them. You can tell then that you are very sorry that they saw that, however, if they had not been stepping out of their place and reading your texts on your phone this wouldn't have happened. You have noting to apologize for - and saying you're sorry they saw that does not mean you're sorry you did it. Then look them straight in the eye and tell them, if there are things you don't want to know then you gotta learn NOT to open things that don't belong to you.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 5:22 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

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