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Am I a bad mother?

My 5 month old son and I live with my parents and 2 of my four younger siblings. When I was pregnant and my mom and I were discussing my moving in with them I told her that i wanted her to let me be the parent of my son. Now that he is here i feel like such a bad mother because everything I do for my son is wrong, at least in her eyes. How can I politely(I don't want to get kicked out) tell my mother that she needs to let me parent my son? I realize that she has had 24 years of mothering experience but I'm sure she made mistakes with her first baby and she needs to let me do this alone. Help. It's causing a lot of tension in my house.

 
SweeThang931

Asked by SweeThang931 at 4:10 PM on Sep. 28, 2009 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • :( Sorry to hear that, would your siblings help you? If you try to get assistance then see what they can offer you since your disabled. Also that makes me more mad that your mom is doing this to you knowing your limits, she should be happy for you and encouraging you not belittling you, I'm sooooooo sorry.

    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 4:50 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Just tell her flat out. She is only the grandmother, not his mother. Or just ignore what she says.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 4:13 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • you have to be honest with your parents. when me and my DD moved back in with her i let her walk all over my parenting untill i met my DH and when we sat down and talked to them and told them they had ot back off and set rules.they hated me and my DH. infact it caused such a problem it bloomed into us not talking for 1 yr. but now that things have settled were speaking again. and they realized that i was right.and now they ask b4 sending things to my DD. and are even planning on coming up.be strong adn do what you think is right.
    sandraberke

    Answer by sandraberke at 4:13 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Honey, if you want to do it alone then live alone. You are so lucky to get to live with a mom that cares. It is also costing her money you being there.

    Talk to your mom. Don't say you want to do it alone. I'm a grandmother and my son, his wife and baby lived with me and I know how much that would have upset me. Tell her you are feeling a little bit like she is taking over or whatever it is you can say that doesn't sound too bad.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:15 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Hmm. Have you beaten the baby? Tossed the baby out a window? Starved the baby?

    Then you ARE NOT a bad mother.

    Period. End of discussion.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:15 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Well sweets, the way you just worded it sounds very respectful and thats exactly what I would say to my mom if I were in this situation.  I would tell her just like this: 


     I realize that she has had 24 years of mothering experience but I'm sure she made mistakes with her first baby and she needs to let me do this alone. Help. It's causing a lot of tension in my house.

    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 4:15 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • it won't work. I know this becuase my mother is the same way. I don't live with her but she watched my daughter the 1st 2 1/2 years of her life (everyday) so she thought she was so much better. I had every convo with her and still she acts like she is the mother of my child. I dropped her down to 2 days a week (no I really can no afford it but I had to do something) so now is isn't as bad but its still there.
    Savymom25

    Answer by Savymom25 at 4:19 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • You aren't bad and I'd do everything I can for my kid, and tell her polietly that you've got it and you can handle it and that if she wants to help that's great but that she's the grandmother and needs to know her limits. Get a job ASAP anything and get out of there you can get housing assitance and make it on your own!
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 4:20 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I would get a place of my own but my mother has my head filled with worry that I'm going to lose my son if I do leave. I know I'm not the worlds cleanest person but I'm trying and I'm learning.
    SweeThang931

    Answer by SweeThang931 at 4:25 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • write her a kind letter, this way she can think about it before you see her next. Just be as sweet as possible, she should understand.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:25 PM on Sep. 28, 2009