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can someone be so weak?

how can it be that you miss a man that is showing the first signs of abusing you? that you still want him to be there? that you want to tell him about the progress of your child? how can someone be so weak and wait for him to call or text eventhough you know you and him are not allowed to? that you can still love a man that has pushed you and has spit at you and called you th worst names?
am I just so will weak?

Answer Question
 
AlexesmommySam

Asked by AlexesmommySam at 8:50 PM on Sep. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • It happens to many women. We attach to the good part of the guy and we try to ignore the damage abusive part of him. If he is abusive he won't improve with time. It could escalate. Only you can decide what is right for you but please stay safe.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:54 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • You are not weak you are in love and this alone makes you do crazy things, put your heart aside for a minute and think about what is best not only for you but for your kids.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:58 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • It's a weakness that you need to work on. I think after you have some lengthy conversation with well meaning friends, family, and maybe a counselor you'll come around. It's great that you notice and admit that this is a problem. That's a step. Get some help and busy yourself. Keep him out of sight and out of mind. Get good distractions. Focus on your kids. Do something for you.
    jus1jess

    Answer by jus1jess at 9:28 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • You love him or are codependent upon him. But if he is the way you describe, you MUST move on. Moving on takes a grieving period and it's work but you need to do it.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:29 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • Its not a weakness. Your feelings are not defined by the boundaries of a relationship. If it did, then the minute someone decided on a divorce all your feelings for that person would disappear the minute you called them an ex. Just like you can love someone, who you aren't actually in a relationship with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I feel the same way girl, it's just taken me some time to realize that if I stayed with him he would eventually end up beating me because his temper is just that bad. Anything I was interested in or took joy or pleasure in, he would put it down or call it stupid. He would go off on me at the drop of a hat. It does take time to get over someone, especially when you loved them, but it will get better, you just hang in there and keep telling yourself how you deserve so much better!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

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