Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I Don't Get Along With My Boyfriends Family?

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and his family can't stand me. The feelings are pretty mutual and I keep to myself, my family and my own friends. Then problem is I'm having his daughter in January. I have easily ignored them for the past year but now that I'm having his baby he keeps telling me you need to get along with my family. His sister has told me numerous of times that I will never be a part of their family.. What would you do???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on Sep. 29, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (13)
  • Why don't they like you?

    Answer by Bjoycassell at 8:59 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • When you bring a new person into the world, it becomes all about them. You boyfriends child deserves to know their family on both sides, so either your boyfriend can take them over on his own, or you can, being careful to be polite. You have been treated very badly, it appears, by his family. So I'd stay away if possible without creating more bad feelings. But do all you can to keep the bad feelings from getting worse and to improve them if you can.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:06 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Yeah, WHY don't they like you?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • OMG that's how it was w/my kids grandparents on their dad's side. They just didn't like me because his dad was very old fashion, the women needs to shut up & listen to the man & do whatever he says. I am far from being that kinda woman. Their grandma was excited about grandbabies so she offered to watch them while I work. Which I thought was great she wanted to get involved & make nice. Far from the truth. she did the oppossite of anything I wanted her to do with the kids. She never listened to my directions & just did whatever she wanted & even refused to feed my daughter solid foods @ 8 months old. she was ready & old enough. for awhile she watched the kids @ our house, until I found out she was going through my personal stuff!!! It was awful. It caused strain with me & my b/f cause he was a mama's boy & did what his mom said. When our son turned 1 me & their dad broke up & I started the kids in daycare.

    Answer by jfblaine at 9:20 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Grandma now went from seeing the kids almost every day to seeing them every other weekend (if that) and she accused me of keeping them from her but I told her that if she can't do what I want done with my kids then she dosen't need to be a main caretaker of them but can certainly be a grandma to them & spoil them every other weekend when they are with her. The kids, now 4 & 2 only sit on the couch & watch t.v. over there & eat tons of junk food. I don't like it but it's not as often as it was & if that's how she wants to spend time with her grand kids it's her decision. So, to sum up my rambling. It may get more rough with a grand baby on the way. Good luck.

    Answer by jfblaine at 9:23 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I didin't get along with my hubbys family for a while but it didi happen eventually it has ben 21 years hang in there

    Answer by goatmom4 at 9:35 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Mu husband and I have been very happily married for over 9 years, together for more than 10. His family has despised me from day one. At first he wanted me to get along with them and I made every attempt, invited them over for Christmas (bought them all gifts despite the fact that they would only bring gifts over for him and act like I was not there in my own home), go to visit them if he wanted to, talk to them on the phone if the called and he was not home etc. Well now we have a daughter, she's 4. They are still treating me like crap and my hubby is finally pissed about it. I mean his mom has even tried to get s to fight by emailing me one thing and him another saying I am lying!!! Anyway I finally told him that if they don't like me there is no way they can love my child...she is half me. He has agreed and we have, for the most part, cut ties with them. I do not even refer to them as grandma and grandpa to our dd.

    Answer by Octobersmom at 9:59 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • My inlaws can't stand me since I started dating their son over ten years ago. Been married going on 8. I wasn't in the same social class as them and they told me flat out I was going to bring my husband down if I married him. We was and are deeply in love. Some people you can't change. When we told them we was pregnant after 6 years of being married they disowned us. You can't please everyone. You can try but what is important right now is baby to be. Don't let them bring you down or stress you out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Read the book "Toxic In-Laws."

    "Getting along" does not mean settling for unkind or abusive behavior. If they can behave politely then you call all visit. His sister telling you that you "will never be a part of the family" is not kind or polite behavior; he needs to check that kind of behavior if he expects you to socialize with them.

    My father did not like my dh, but as long as my father was polite they tolerated each other.

    Answer by happytexasCM at 10:33 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • My MIL told hubs he was an idiot for wanting to marry me and that I'd make his life hell. His entire family was nasty to me at the wedding and they didn't tone it down for the baby shower either (my spies at the wedding informed me that they believed me to be a whore he hadn't been able to get rid of). A year later my in-laws and his grandparents/aunts think I'm great (I can' stand his dad's mom which brought me closer to my MIL oddly enough) but everyone else calls me a whore at the family gathering. I lay on the sugar so they can't put anything on me. We don't go to family functions anymore. We've discussed it with my in-laws and they support our decision.
    You just have to stick it out until they realize you're not going away. Then they can get over it and get to know you or cry about it. Does your boyfriend at least understand the situation? If he's not on your side with this, that's not a good sign.

    Answer by flitpixie at 11:49 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.