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idk what to do please don't judge me for this

i resently found out that who i though was the father of my child isn't and he just now after two months walked out on her she's almost a year old she knows him as daddy and my daughter is going over there to his mom's to where he lives to see her gramy i'm not gonna keep his family away from her cause he says he don't want her it's not they're fault and they still wanna see he idk what to do i'm so hurt but i feel like i have this weight lifter off of me cause i'm not gonna let him hurt me no more i kinda fill inpowered but weak at the same time cause i still love him but i'm on the edge line of hate idk what to do thought i'm gonna let her go over there just don't like that he's over there and me and his mom talked on the phone this morning and she said fuck him she don't care what the dna test said and that she's still her grandaughter in her eyes no matter what i'm only 17 im tryin to get my ged curently too

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katelynnmommy23

Asked by katelynnmommy23 at 11:13 AM on Sep. 29, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (9)
  • Nobody is going to judge you and if they do then they have their own problems to work on. I had a friend who thought that her baby's father was this one guy and his parents and him treated him like their own. Then she later did a paternity test and found out that he wasn't the father. They still liked to see him and babysit him. They loved him because its not blood that matters sometimes, its the emotion and the personal connection. I am adopted and I am treated like blood even though I am not. Good luck and hang in there. If they don't want anything to do with you and your baby then its their loss.
    leekim2004

    Answer by leekim2004 at 11:17 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • personally.... me personally... I would cut all the non family ties NOW. Before more people get hurt. She is so, so little..... she'll forget quickly.

    And more babies will come in and out of everyones life and they'll forget in time too.

    It's just too awkward. And somewhere out there are her true grandparents who might really love the heck out of her once they know she exists.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 11:18 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • HUN, YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!! A friend of mine is dealing with this. It sucks, but his family is still there for her!! This baby is only 4 mos and they love her like their own! Keep in contact with this woman! She loves your baby and you! Do not let her go, she maybe not be "family" but she may be the best resource you have for support!!! PM me if you want to talk! I was a teen mom too! I know it can be hard! but YOU CAN DO IT!!!

    clovismommy25

    Answer by clovismommy25 at 11:20 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I think it depends on how close you are and well you trust HIS family. What if one day when she's older they decide they want nothing to do with her anymore? What will that do to your daughter? It sucks but the whole situation sucks so IMO it's better to deal with everything now than having to drag it out for years.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I would cut all ties. Dont lead your daughter down a path of confusion. Its not fair.
    shymom24

    Answer by shymom24 at 11:39 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • How do you KNOW it isn't his? Did you get a paternity test?
    beccimae

    Answer by beccimae at 11:56 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Oh and those who say to cut off ties with "non family", that just doesn't make sense. My husband's family is "non family" to my older children, but we would never cut off contact b/c they're not family.
    beccimae

    Answer by beccimae at 11:56 AM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I'm not quite sure on what your question is.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 12:39 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Do what you think is right. If the guy doesn't want anything to do with your daughter, you can't -- and shouldn't -- try to make him be there. Especially if you know he's not her father.

    But if his family genuinely cares for your daughter and they are safe people to be around, I see no problem with it whatsoever. If your daughter loves the woman she sees as her Grammy, then let her spend time with the woman.

    This is all up to YOU, remember that. You should feel empowered! For a 17 year old you're very mature and you obviously care about your daughter. Do what you feel is right for yourself and your little girl, and don't let anyone tell you to do something you're not comfortable with.
    oh__you

    Answer by oh__you at 12:41 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

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