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How do I get my 4yo son to leave my 2yo daughter alone while I'm trying to pottytrain her!?

Okay, we just started this morning, because I have next to no diapers, and she's really interested and ready. So far, it's Floor: 3 Potty: 0 ...but, if my son would just leave her alone and stop "helping" me, she would have had at least 1 in the potty. The first accident was a total accident. The second time was frustrating - DS moved my towel setup for DD on the couch, and while I was trying to tell him why he wasn't supposed to do that, he started throwing a tantrum. I told DD to take off her undies and sit on the potty. As soon as she started to, I tried to calm down DS, and then I hear the puddle forming. And the last time, she'd had a full cup of water, and was starting to PD, and he had the brilliant idea to "go together" - so they ran off, and I followed. But he then had the idea to take off her undies for her - and before I could reach him to make him stop, she let loose again. How do I get him to stop and let me!?

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Asked by Jeiao at 12:52 PM on Sep. 29, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (3)
  • Your DS is a helper for sure and you know what else... he's curious! Mommy is potty training a girl this time and it's different. So he's always gonna be there, but that being said, you are going to have to accept the fact that if you tell him no, he might just throw a tantrum and you need to let him have it out. Don't try to calm him. Keep your attention on your DD and if he wants to have a fit, let him. She needs your attention right now and he needs to know the negative behaviour will have no effect on you, for example you immediately turning to calm him when he throws a tantrum. It's all about attention. DD is getting it and DS wants it. Explain to him that if he can behave a whole day, if he can stay out of your way and let only you help DD, he can extra snuggle time at night or something else extra special, but just something that will possibly bring him around to understanding that mommy needs him to be calm.

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 1:22 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Maybe try giving him something special to do while you are with her. Set him up coloring. Or since he is such a helper, ask him if he will be a big helper and sort or fold the towels (which you will redo later of course!), or give him a wet rag and ask him to clean the front of the appliances in the kitchen! When you are done, if he stayed out of the way and did his job, give him a sticker!

    Answer by frat_twin_mama at 1:45 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Oh my goodness, this sounds like my daughter (the oldest) and son (the youngest). My daughter just "helps" WAAAAY too much! Sometimes I just have to stop her and remind her that I am the mommy, not her. She accepts it, but she'll say "when do I get to be the mom?". It doesn't stop her from mothering him again later though. Give him other things to do to keep him busy and hopefully that helps keep him busy.

    Answer by slw123 at 5:16 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

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