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Please as many ladies as can answer this one?

My husband and i have been married for 3 yrs and are ready to TTC!!!! im 24 and he is 25. Were excited but also scared! im sure this is normal to be nervous but theres one thing in particular that im worried about! we have a great marriage and love being together as much as possible! im worried that a starting a family will cause this to suffer. I know we wont have as much alone time as were used to, however we also cant wait to have a family and a baby of our own! Does a baby bring u even closer? Im i worrying for nothing? Is it possible to still have time to urselves?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Sep. 29, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • to me having a baby did bring us closer. sure it was hard at first dealing with the mood swings and what not. we started to TTc our own the night we got married. valentines day turned out to be more funnier than i thought.(08), anyways.and now when he comes home and aiden walks up to him and stretchwes his arms out he picks him up and says there my big boy. and he plays with aiden and when he goes to bed at 8 we get our alone time then. you learn to pick and choose. you give things up but get soo much in return.
    sandraberke

    Answer by sandraberke at 3:18 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • It brings some couples closer. I think it makes things worse for most couples. The stress, lack of sleep, and lifestyle changes can be difficult to deal with.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:24 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I wish I had had three years with my husband before we got pregnant. I'm going to miss him so much.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:27 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • It will definitely change your relationship. Some couples become closer and some are broken apart. A baby brings many joys but also a lot of stress to a marriage. The pros outweigh the cons by a long shot IMO.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • It brought us closer. And really changed how I saw my husband. A man is not the same with a baby in his arms as he is without.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • It brought us much closer. When we are out and there is chaos and we hear our child say something cute, we just catch each others eye. No one else knows how cute our kids are!
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 3:46 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • In my opinion, it can either tear you apart or bring you closer. As for my husband and I, it brought us closer, but only after about 3 months. I breastfed and it took the bonding time with dad to happen awhile because of it. I stayed home, and he worked during the day and some evenings. So, his bonding time took a little time, but now he will tell that our boy is his life. He is a wonderful daddy! I think that will happen for you because you both want it. If you wanted it and he didn't and he never got used to the idea then you may feel some distance. But I think with you both wanting it, it will be a fun great time of bonding for you!
    acholt21

    Answer by acholt21 at 3:55 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Start TTC now. I am so glad that dh and I did not wait any longer than we did. We were married for 5 years when we actually had out first pg.
    Now we have a 9 and a 5 year old. Being a seasoned TTCer and parent I can say that the most important bit of advice I can give you is this,have a support system in mind. I mean,know that you will have a babysitter that you and dh can trust to allow for that time you want together. Also supportive family,brothers,sister,cousins and especially grandparents. GL:)
    momthruivf

    Answer by momthruivf at 4:15 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • The average cost per year of raising a baby is 11 thousand dollars a year. That was on CNN yesterday. Knowing that....Also realize you will have next to NO time to yourselves when baby comes and it only gets worse as baby gets older. IMO kids can bring you closer or tear your marriage apart. It all depends on if both of you are ready to devote ALL your free time together to a child, and if your still feeling selfish which is normal then dont have a baby now. Sow your wild oats and enjoy each other. TOO many people think a baby will be so great without considering exactly all the time, money and energy that goes into them. Think REALLY hard before you get preggo. Save yourself allot of aggravation down the road.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 4:38 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • In general, if you have a great marriage and both of you are on board, a baby will only add to it. If you have a rocky marriage, it can go either way (good or bad). My husband and I were married 3 years before we started ttc our first. I am glad we took that time, but we were also very excited about having a baby. Our daughter is now 3 years old and we are ttc #2. Being pregnant was amazing for me, and my husband was incredible. He was more sensitive to my needs and protective of me than any other time in our relationship. And he is a great dad! Is it easy being a parent and a spouse -not always. Are there going to be fights along the way - probably. Is it worth it - YES.
    lovebugs_mom

    Answer by lovebugs_mom at 5:37 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

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