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Make Me!

My Dh had his son when he was only 17, it has been a rocky road but he has hung in there. The son is now 12 and living with us due to his mom being a alcoholic, to call him wild would be an understatement. He is tall, almost taller than his dad and he thinks this gives him a advantage to getting his way. From everything to doing homework to getting to school, everything his dad tells him to do is met with him standing up to dh and saying "Make Me". He even made a hit to his dad.
My question is , has anyone dealt with a child like this before? We are all in counseling and he has not been diagosed with any anger or depression, it just seems like he wants to challenge his dad on everything. Any advice on gthe best course of action?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Sep. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I agree w/ louise. Everything except the BARE neccessities (food, clothing, shelter) is a PRIVILEDGE that should be earned by acting like a descent human being. Strip his room of everything - no posters on the walls, no phones, no computers, no TV, no models to build, NOTHING.

    He goes to school, and comes home. Period. Once home he does chores, homework, and can read or play boardgames with the family for entertainment.

    And every time he pulled that "make me" BS... I'd do just that -- make him. If he didn't want to brush his teeth, I'd sit on him & do it myself if I had to. If his job is to walk the dog & he doesn't and the dog craps in the floor, I'd sit that kid down in the floor right next to it until he cleaned it up. If you tell him to clean the garage - he'd STAY in that garage until it was done ... if that meant sleeping on the garage floor.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 5:26 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • That kind of kid. If I had to deal with him. He would beg to do right after I got threw with him.
    first thing I would do is take everything out of his room. The only thing that would be left is his cloths, bed and dresser. No more phones, computer, tv, Ipod. Cerfew would be gone, alowance too. He wouldn't get anything unless he NEEDED it.
    I would put all his stuff in a storage room away from the house.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:15 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Honestly I have done that to my son, I cleared his room. He had a pillow, a mattress, sheets, blankets, and something to wear for the next day. Oh and a stack of books. I even took his light bulb so he had to do everything durning the day by night it was sleep or sit in the dark. He had to stay in his room 24/7 but potty breaks. I even brought his food to him 4 times a day 3 meals and a snack between lunch and dinner.
    This was all because he refused to listen to me. I had grounded him for the weekend and he decided what I said did not matter so he jumped out his bedroom window and went to hang out with his friends. When I found out he had jumped out of the window I called a friend to come help me get all of his stuff out of his room. Boys are so stubborn. It took me weeks to get him to behave again. And months befor he got everything of his back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Let hiim deal with the consequences of not doing his homework at school. When he flunks out and can't get a job, he will realize how important school is. As for him not going to school, call the truancy officer and have him or her come and get your grandson. He may be ticketed and fined. He will have to go in front of a judge and set up a plan to behave or face more consequences. Let HIM pay off the ticket. My aunt did this to my 17 yr old cousin and since then he has gone to school unless he was really sick. Take everything out of his room but his bed and books. Give him his clothes for school. He has to earn everything back, item by item. He has to respect his dad and you. Also, take him to counseling to find out why he is acting the way he is. You can even take it a step further--don't cook or clean for him. let him wash his own clothes. Kids do NOT have to act this way and it is not acceptable. Respect is a 2 way street.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:28 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Military school
    abbyg

    Answer by abbyg at 9:17 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • tyfry7496 is dead on.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 10:23 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

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