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Really Confused!

I am NEVER in the mood to have sex. Literally. I have to force myself to get "in the mood" and even then Im not totally into it. I love my husband, but I dont know if Im IN love with him. He was my first real relationship and I lost my virginity to him. I got pregnant after we got engaged and we married before my daughter was born. We've already admitted to each other we should have waited to get married. Our daughter isn't even one yet. I'm afraid that maybe I dont love him like I should. We live with my parents at the moment because I'm unemployed (looking for a job). I'm afraid it wont get any better once we move out, and we plan on having my grandma move with us. I just dont know what to do. Any advice on how to get "in the mood" for real? Any advice on how to figure this out?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Sep. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I started sleeping with a younger guy thats helped me!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Are you depressed? It could be a medical problem. I think you and your husband need some counseling. You should go look for some help to help you figure things out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Don't sleep with a younger man. It could be hormones from your pregnancy still out of whack. Your daughter is still really young. It takes up to 2 years for those hormones to regulate in your system. And maybe it will get better when you are out on your own and getting to be a little family and having your own space and your own time. Is there anyway you can not have your grandma live with you? I don't think that would help anything. perhaps see your doctor about PPD. Good luck

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 5:58 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • OP here........I dont think Im depressed or have PPD. I mean, I usually happy! I love my daughter, have no bad thoughts about her or anyone else. I do get stressed sometimes but....I think thats because since Im out of work I'm the SAHM for everyone...including my parents and sisters. So if there's a mess in the house, It's my job to clean it up. We dont have money to go to counseling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • OP again....I wouldn't sleep with a younger man! lol, I'm only 23...i wouldnt go much younger than that anyway. I wouldnt even sleep with an older man. I mean, Never say Never, but i have no intentions of cheating.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Great sex is 80% or more mental. You have to get yourself worked up for it if he's not able to do it for you. Getting worked up can take days (mentally) but if all else fails and you don't have any condition that would prohibit you from using the over the counter supplement called DHEA you could try that. Open the capsule up and only take 5 mg twice a day not the 25 mg of the capsule itself. If that is not an option, take Vitamin B Complex just in case you are depressed. I'd also check with my dr. You could have a hormonal imbalance.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:40 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I am in the exact same situation. We got pregnant while engaged, and the married before our daughter was born. She is just 2 weeks old, so we can't have sex yet, but even before she was born, I was struggling to have sex with my husband. I just don't want to. I do love him, but not sure if we are in love. I just try to take it day by day. I always think of the things I love about him, and focus on those. I just keep telling myself it will get better, and hopefully it will!

    Answer by tmdarrach at 7:05 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I'm beginning to think that the only reason men want a steady woman is just for the sex and just that. It has nothing to do with deep emotional bond of love. Men just want the act because you are just there; it really becomes an addiction with them. They just aren’t romantic like they were in the beginning of the relationship. It gets too comfortable for them and then just take your for granted of giving it to them. Don’t think it gets better as time moves on especially if they don’t take the effort that it takes to romance you.

    Don’t know if I made any sense to what I’m saying.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I started sleeping with a younger guy thats helped me!

    Real nice and classy.  Encouraging her to have an affair.  Maybe she's not into being a slut.  Hun, you need to talk to your doctor and see if he can suggest anything.  Don't take the advice of idiots.  The LAST thing you need to do is complicate your life with an affair.  Only trashy people do that kind of stuff.  Good luck.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Pray. God will help you. Take time to know yourself. Anytime after having a baby, hormones are off. Time will help.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 12:34 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

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