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Should my boyfriend of 3 years pay for and fix his ex-wife's heating system

They have been divorced for over 13 years and he gave her the house in the divorce. He has been living with me now for 3 years and we struggle to care for our own finances and do all we can extra for the kids. I am the breadwinner in our home and ask very little of him financially. He never misses a child support payment and he is a great Dad. He is an HVAC tech, but why should she expect him to fix her broken system and pay for the expensive parts?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Sep. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Well no he shouldn't do it for free, but I think if he wants to fix it for her a discount would be nice.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:22 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • wow hes doing it for free. well maybe its bc its his childrens mother. not sure but he sounds like he is just a very nice man, you dont find those around too much. but since u make more money i think he should talk to you about it before he decides
    SweetiePieAfWf

    Answer by SweetiePieAfWf at 6:24 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Mine would to help keep our kids warm in the winter. Splitting the cost of the materials would be nice but if she's living on cs maybe she can't afford it. Maybe she thinks he can get some great deals. I know mine would know someone who knew someone who could get him a deal.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:24 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I think the ex should cover the cost of parts. Your bf doing the labor for free is ok, and very commendable.
    MommyTurtle1985

    Answer by MommyTurtle1985 at 6:27 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • if my hubby had kids somewhere else i'd like to think he'd do so for their mother if it meant the kids would be taken care of. should she expect it no, but he should at the least fix it and have her purchase the parts.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 6:28 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • He shouldn't have to or be expected to. But if he gets her a discount, or does the labor after she pays for the parts, that would be awful nice of him. Can she get the system fixed on her own or is she struggling as well?
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 6:28 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I think it's good that he wants to take care of his kids. She may live there but his kids live there also. If my Husband had an ex and had kids with her, she had not caused MAJOR problems then I would expect him to fix it. I do feel that he should have discussed it with you first though. They may be his kids but its both yours and his money.
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 6:48 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I think he should be able to fix it, maybe not for free, but if his kids have to stay there, then he should atleast help. I don't mean should as have to, but should as in if it's not going to cause any problems.
    Queentdi

    Answer by Queentdi at 6:49 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • For his kids sake, yeah I think he should. Especially if she can't afford to pay someone to come fix it (which I do know it can be very expensive). Should he do it free? Well....again, if she really can't afford it, for the sake of his kids, it would be good. But if she is just asking him to do it b/c she knows he can and b/c of the kids, then I think at the very least, she should pay for the parts, even if he gets them wholesale and just charges her the wholesale price for them.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:55 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Maybe he's trying to be nice for his children's sake. It's a commendable thing to do.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 6:58 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

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