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Should I make my daughter go...?

to the Academic Awards? She gets great grades and is advanced classes this year. The Academic Awards are tomorrow night and my daughter doesn't want to go because she doesn't see the big deal about it. She knows she gets good grades is her answer to me.

I think she should be proud and go because she has earned the award.

I told her I would let her know tomorrow after school if I"m going to make her go.

 
Cindy18

Asked by Cindy18 at 8:42 PM on Sep. 29, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 28 (33,953 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • How old is she? The reason I ask is because my ds did this when he was in 8th grade - for the same sort of awards ceremony. I wanted him to go, because I felt that he had accomplished something and should go get his awards. His attitude was that he got the grades because he does what he's supposed to do - his school work, and he's smart enough that he gets good grades, and he didn't need a big ceremony to prove it.

    As hard as it was, I didn't make him go to his. BUT - the next week, I DID make him go to his sister's (she's a grade below him), because as I explained it to him, she wanted to go to hers - it was important to her, and as a family, we go and support each other at things that are important to other members of the family.

    Now, he's in 11th grade and goes to his award stuff. I think it was just more the point of HE wanted to decide - it was asserting some control over their life, kwim?

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:29 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • I'd say if she doesn't want to go then don't make her. The award is for her. If she doesn't want it then fine. Does she not like being the center of attention? But then again, if I fast forward to my son being in school, I think I would make him go. That is tough one. Talk to your husband about it if you have one. If not... just follow your gut feeling.
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 8:45 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I would. Sounds like she is a smart girl. Now time to teach her GRATITUDE for acknowledgment of her work!

    Teach her that its not just for her that she will be attending, its also for her family, her school, her teachers, and to thank those responsible for awarding her. Teach her to be well rounded.

    Otherwise, she doesn't deserve the award, good grades or not ;)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • No, I wouldn't. Obviosuly, (can't seem to spell tonight) she doesn't care about getting an award and is happy just getting the good grades. She is the only one that has to be proud, she is the one doing the work and no one else.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:34 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I would sort of try to gently bribe her to go~I know my daughter feels similarly, but she is always glad she went. Maybe ask her if she wants to go for ice cream or coffee after or something like that, or encourage her to sit with friends if they are there. but of course, you can't really make her go if she truly doesn't want to.
    dflygirl7

    Answer by dflygirl7 at 6:37 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • cont

    lol - it was like the middle school version of a toddler insisting that they want to wear their favorite shirt and their favorite pants, even if they totally clash ;-)

    It's them wanting to show some control over their lives and decision making, so, imo, by letting them have some control over the "smaller" issues, it's easier to then keep control (and have them respect it) on the bigger issues. (Like doing the work to get the grades to begin with ;-) )
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:31 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Oh, btw - lol - we did go out after our dd's - because, since it was an accomplishment that she was proud of, we celebrated it :-) We didn't go out the night of our ds's award ceremony, because, as he said, it wasn't a big deal to him, so then why should we have made a big deal of it?

    lol - Like I said, he's now in 11th and we go to his ceremonies, and we do celebrate / attend to support and encourage each other. It was just important to him to know that it was HIS choice. Though honestly, some people REALLY don't like to be recognized like that - they're shy, or they're more humble about their accomplishments. It's not about not being grateful to those that's helped, it's about knowing you did it because you enjoy it, not to get thanks - the public thanks are embarrassing, and that's ok, too.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:36 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Here is what I would say to my daughter... As a dance teacher I not only look for kids that have natural talent in dance but those that really make an effort and dedicate to dance whether they are naturally talented or not. I present my kids with honors and awards for many things at the end of the season... While some of the girls may be "naturally" talented collect their awards won in competition at the end of the year, fact is, it is a little bit of an insult to the school or say program when a student feels they are too good to attend the event... The school or say my program go out of the way to make a special day to celebrate and present these honors... If she had real pride in her success she wouldn't have such attitude towards those that are simply proud of her and presenting to her something that many others will not get. People will start thinking "SNOB" and "CONCEITED" should think about how she will come off to othe
    TheFriskyKitty

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 11:15 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • It's her life. It's her award. If she doesn't want to go she should not be made to go imo. You can go if you want to hear her name called but she's a humble young lady. That's impressive. She is secure in herself and what she can accomplish without kudos from others. That says more than some award. I think she rocks.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:23 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • I would encourage her to go but not force her.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:32 PM on Sep. 30, 2009