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What Should I do about my husband contacting his ex?

My husband and I have been married 4 years. Today I happen to pick up his phone (being nosy) and I saw that he had been calling his ex girlfriend (no they don't have any children together). Should I say anything? What should I say/do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Sep. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I suppose you could mention it.
    I wouldn't be suspicious right yet. Maybe he's friends with her brother, or they just parted on good terms. Whatever the reason, I would just casually mention it, without any type of emotion in your voice besides pure curiosity, or his defenses will be thrown up, and it'll just be misconstrued.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • shoutingHell yes I would!!!! When I first read your post I was like ok...if they have children together...sure but now that I am finished reading hell no I would ask him straight up what the hell??? He has NO business trying to get in touch with her....NO mamn raise some hell girl.angry


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • No, just may be a set up,because he know you are newsy. My motto,seek and you shall find. What happen to the trust.

    Answer by lady-t3984 at 11:25 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • You don't need to do anything. He called an ex big deal. Could have called to see if he left something at her house years ago. My husband contacted an ex from 17 years ago to see if she still had his yearbook. She did and shipped it to us. She did not have a clue where we lived or would have sent it sooner. Thankfully for my husband he didn't have an insecure shrew of a wife that didn't trust him and snooped through his phone and then jumped to conclusions. I would leave this alone unless he is acting differently.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • Well I may be nosy but this is not the first time he has contacted her. The last time it happened he made up some BS excuse that made absolutely no sense. He and I talked about things of this nature prior to getting married and we both agreed that there was no reason for neither of us to be talking to our ex's. I've caught him talking to her on a few different occasions. The most recent incident (today) there were multiple calls throughout the day. In the past I've confronted him about it and it always got ugly. I just don't even know if I should continue to say anything about it. I asked this question because I wanted to know the best way to handle this situation at this point.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • You've done what you're suppsed to do.. .you've told him how you feel and he and you agreed there was no reason for either of you to be contacting anyone from the past relationships. He's broken his own rule.
    You either learn to deal with it, or you show him how it feels (not my recommendation) or you tell him you've had all of that you want because it's cheating even if they're not having sex, or even talking about having sex.
    It would matter more to me if he was calling her or her calling him first, that would give me the biggest idea of which one is having a hard time letting go.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:35 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Don't listen to the girls who are saying you are being ridiculous about this. If you had an agreement early on about not contacting exes and he's breaking that, then you of course have a right be upset. Especially if it is not the first time you've had to discuss it with him. If I were you, I would ask him straight out if he's been in contact with her recently (but don't mention knowing that he has already) and see what he says. If he lies and says no, then you know something is up and you have every right to call him out and give him some ultimatum. If he has some "good" reason for it and is honest when you ask, then maybe relax (but not TOO much - it sounds pretty suspicious to me, honestly) and wait to see other signs of problems. Either way, don't feel like you are being ridiculous - you are simply wanting your HUSBAND to hold true to his promises. Not a silly expectation at ALL. Good luck!

    Answer by Iskkra at 1:15 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

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