Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Dating and the single mother

My son is almost 5 months old and I've recently met someone I really like. The problem is he doesn't know I have a son and I'm scared he will leave when he does find out. Any ideas on when I should tell him about my son and then when should I let him meet him? this is very unfamiliar territory for me so any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Sep. 29, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think you probably should have told him before you even went out. I would tell him right away. I'd let him meet your son....... I know he's only 5 months old, but you can get an idea how he is with the baby. I was a single mom when my son was 2. I did let my son meet guys that I dated.....not as my boyfriend, and no one slept over, but I could get a feel for how they were with him, and how he connected with them.....of course he was older. I understand your fear of telling him, but I think you make it worse by not being honest up front....he may really like you, but feel that you kept something of major importance from him, and that is a trust issue. Plus, what if you really fall for a guy, then realize he doesn't like kids, or just plain isn't good with them.

    Honesty upfront always.....good luck!!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:30 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • tell him if he runs he is not the one for u girl
    josalin

    Answer by josalin at 11:49 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • i would tell him right away!! if he leaves, hes obviously not the man for you! idk how well you know each other, but not telling him would almost seem like youre ashamed..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • I agree.
    Tell him, there's nothing to be ashamed about. If he runs, he's not a keeper.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 11:52 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • It has been my experience that most men are not at all afraid of a single mom. They do not look at you and see extra baggage. They pretty much look and a mother and child the same way we look at a man with a dog. "Aw, how cute". Seriously, is there any better way to show a man your caring and giving nature than to let him see what a good mother you are?
    always_chris

    Answer by always_chris at 11:58 PM on Sep. 29, 2009

  • And if he does stay, when should i let him meet my son?
    SweeThang931

    Answer by SweeThang931 at 12:01 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Tell him, yes, absolutely, and if he sticks around, ask him when he wants to meet him. Your son is still young, so if the guy splits soon, it wont leave a lasting memory, but it is better to wait until you at least know the guy is sticking around. Im sure he wont mind meeting your son, you just need to go into it without looking like you are looking for a baby daddy, kwim? It is hard dating with children, but it is important for the person you are dating to at least know you have a child. And like everyone else said, if he doesnt stick around, he wasnt the right guy after all. I got lucky, when I started dating my SO he asked my kids what they thought about us dating and wanted to make sure it was ok with them first (mine are older) I thought that was the best thing and said so much to me! :) Good Luck Momma
    SuperMomof3kids

    Answer by SuperMomof3kids at 12:14 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Let them meet but don't let it become a big thing for either one of them until you know where this is going. I know a lot of people would say wait until the relationship is serious but not letting him meet your son could send the message that you don't trust him and what would have been a good relationship will fall apart before it starts. Absense dosn't always make the hear grow fonder, sometimes it makes it grow farther. Wait a couple more dates but don't wait so long that he stops caring about whether or not he meets your son.
    always_chris

    Answer by always_chris at 12:16 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • What amazes me is how do you even get in a situation where there's mutual admiration and he doesn't know your a mother. If I were him I wouldn't run because your a mother but because your a liar. Being a mother, that's who you are, how does someone get to know you without knowing that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • I'm not ashamed of my son. Its just that my mother told me not to mention my son to my bf until I knew the relationship was going somewhere.
    SweeThang931

    Answer by SweeThang931 at 1:34 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN