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how much do you let your child tell you what to do??

my son (he's 2 1/2) is always telling me to do things. if i ask him to clean his toys, he says "YOU clean it!" or he'll tell me to get his sippy cup for him, or to sit somewhere in particular, or not to talk.. etc. it's kind of getting aggravating. how much do you listen to what your child tells you to do? i don't want my son to think HE is the boss and can tell me to do whatever he wants.. advice??

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 AM on Sep. 30, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (16)
  • Is is just mocking you and it's perfectly normal, although, yes it can be annoying. When my ds was that age I would go along with him if he was getting on to me; for example, mommy you are not suppose to do that! I would say Oh I'm sorry I didn't know, can you forgive me? Because that is the reaction I would like from him when I get onto him. However if he told me to get something for him, I would say no you can get it. If he said he didn't want to I'd say well if you want it go get it, okay? And if said something silly like where to sit (which I don't think is a big deal, like I said he is mocking) I would say Yes sir. Which encouraged him to say yes mam or sir to me and others when told what to do.

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 2:25 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • great answer! take it humorisly yet teach him not to be disrespectfull

    Answer by mirit.rose at 2:40 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • To add to what the other pp's have said, when he demands that you get something for him that he can't do himself, then you can respond with - "Is that how we ask? You need to use your manners, please."

    That way, you're demonstrating the manners (by saying please), and you're re-enforcing that he needs to ask and that you are the boss, not him in a positive way.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:00 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • My son does this all the time... i always get told to show him whois boss.. let him know who runs things.. lol.... what i do is i tell him, Josh your a big boy right.. if normally says yes, i say good well big boys get there own things.. big boys ride there bikes and go to their grandmas house.. grandmad dont like when big boys act that way. . there are times when he says he is a baby and cant get it him self or do it him self.. then i simply turn it around.. ok big boys dont ride bikes, or go fishing with grandma and grandpa.. there are certian things that will really hit him .. he will be like ooh i need to be a big boy so i can do that.. works for my son anyway

    Answer by shorty134 at 3:17 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • I really think it depends on how he means it. If he is just trying to play with you, or be cute, I'd go along with it. But if he's being bossy like he's trying to be you, then I wouldn't. My youngest got in the habit for a while that whatever I said for him to do, he'd tell me, "No, you _______". At first it was cute, then as it continued, he started to really mean it. Then, I had to put my foot down and make it clear to him that I was Mommy and when I tell you to do something, you do it, you don't tell me to do it. Also, if you know he's just playing but you don't really want to do it, I'd just be nice but honest and tell him, "Mommy doesn't want to play right now."

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:44 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • I think you are setting a very bad precedent. The very first thing that children need to learn is that they are not the ones in control and that they are to respect their parents and to honor them and their instructions. Also, there is a vast difference between being asked to do something and in being told to do something. I would start today teaching him that he is not to be telling his parents nor anyone else what to do.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:01 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • You son is most likely copying you or copying other adults. They copy the tone in voice as well because they are learning. I think its a good thing because as a parent you can see exactly how you are treating your own child.

    I generally ask my son politely to do things but if he doesn't want to do them I don't make him. He is only 2 and well I would rather him want to do things then be forced into it. The only time I do "control" him is when he is in danger.

    A parent should respect a child just as much as a child should respect a parent. A child isn't an item of ownership, or your slave or your pet. A child is a human being, with their own thoughts and feelings. They should be encouraged to grow and become independent. They should be shown how to be a kind decent human individual but shouldn't be forced into doing things they don't want to do.

    Answer by keyaziz at 8:17 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • I don't think kids are born bad and need to be trained into being decent. When they do something you interpret as bad I believe that is them just experimenting and testing..they don't know they are doing something bad until you tell them. I don't think a child should be punished for that at all but shown.

    Answer by keyaziz at 8:18 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • My son doesn't tell me to do anything. He can ask me to do something, but he knows better than to tell me do anything. My husband and I are the head of this household and he knows and respects that. Now, he's six right now but when he was a toddler he didn't do it either.

    Answer by Blasian1980 at 8:30 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • My son is 2 also and he doesn't tell me what to do he throws a temper tantrum and I have to try and figure out what he is crying about it's a major suck fest. Luckily I seen another mom with the same problem and she tells her son to use his words. You have to remember our little ones want to be treated with respect too. So when they are bosy to you, you need to let them know that you don't like it

    Answer by Trillathanu at 8:36 AM on Sep. 30, 2009

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