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Dad doesn't seem to want anything to do with 4 yr old

DH and our oldest fight constantly about every little thing. I've tried to get DH to help him with his homework or let him help outside, etc. and his first reaction is always "I'd rather take the youngest" or he relutantly says okay and it ends up in a fight with my oldest crying. Myself and my oldest take karate at the same school and the Wednesday classes have just been changed where his class ends and he has a gap of 20 mins before my class starts which lasts 40 min. I don't see the logic of him sitting there waiting for 1 hr when he can be home but Dad would rather just pick up the youngest from day care instead of allowing me to get both of them and then meet us a the karate school and grab both of them from there. I'm so frustrated and the oldest is picking up that Dad wants the youngest more him. What can be done???


Asked by BowlnGreen at 12:35 PM on Sep. 30, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (3)
  • Oh my, I feel for the oldest. You probably wont be able to sway your husband but have talks with your oldest to let him open up. This just might make him feel better to know he can talk to you. Have a family meeting. But first explain to everyone that there will be no arguing, you are just going to say what is on your mind and there should be only listening. Have the family meeting as a starter, dont try to solve anything, just listen at first, start slow. Best wishes mama.

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 12:47 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • You can't make a father love a child or want to spend time with a child. All you can do is protect the child's feelings.

    Answer by Gailll at 12:40 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Personally, I would tell my husband to get over whatever problem he seems to have with his 4 year old child and start acting like a father because I would not allow this kind of behavior toward any of my children. Four year olds talk back and maybe seem overbearing sometimes but he has got to realize that how he treats his son now will shape the kind of person this little boy will be. He and the oldest need to spend one on one time together within earshot of you and if things start to get snippy or whatever, you step in and stop it. Have them play a board game together or play ball outside, whatever. Remind your child that daddy might do things different than you but he is a fun person to do things with. Hubbby has got to work on this now. Hope things turn around for your family.

    Answer by khedy at 1:29 PM on Sep. 30, 2009