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I just found out my college, 19 year old daughter is pregnant - I'm lost, any words of wisdom?

I need support to deal with my daughters pregnancy. She is 19 and in college and I just found out yesterday.

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Juliaofoz

Asked by Juliaofoz at 1:06 PM on Sep. 30, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (40)
  • OK WORDS OF WISDOME COMING FROM THE DAUGHTER. I WAS 19 AND IN COLLEGE WHEN I GOT PREGNANT (16 MONTHS AGO). NOW I WORK FULL TIME AND MAKE $4000/MONTH AS A SECRETARY AT MY LOCAL GOVERNMENT. I STILL ATTEND COLLEGE CLASSES ONLINE AND IN THE EVENINGS AND WILL GRADUATE AND BECOME AN RN IN ABOUT ONE YEAR.

    YOUR DD CAN BE VERY SUCCESSFUL IN HER LIFE, AND RIGHT NOW SHE NEEDS YOU TO BE THERE AND BE SUPPORTIVE, AND THAT IS WHAT I SUGGEST YOU DO.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • First off give yourself a minute to breathe. Your daughter will need your support no matter what the situation. I am not in your situation, but I know that I was always comforted by the thought that my mom would be there for me no matter what happened. I know this is true now, as well. She may not know all the answers to all the questions you have so go slow and don't pressure her. She is probably just as lost as you are - maybe worse. I would try to have dinner or lunch together and make sure you let her know that you are there for her. I would ask her if she has a plan and let her know that if she doesn't you would love to help her through everything that will be coming in the next months and years of her life. Good luck!
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 1:10 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Be there for her!!!! I was 20, in college and pregnant. My mother called me a slut and a whore after I had been with dd's father for 2 years and we're still together now! Needless to say, she hasn't seen dd but twice in 3 years. Just because she is pregnant doesn't mean it's the end of her life and is really an exciting time whether in college or now!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • I was 19 also when I got prego and I was in the middle of college. I am three semesters away from graduating college now taking classes online. I make a good deal of money working as a caregiver and I take care of my kids. My baby daddy did marry me and we had another child, but I have had limited to no help from him financially. He is just now realizing he needs to get a job.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • As a mom of a 17 daughter, i have not yet experienced that. But, if that were to happen to me after the initial shock I would be there tho help in anyway I can. Good luck> Just remember how hard this is on her. :)
    mrsd

    Answer by mrsd at 1:13 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Well all i can say is she is grown, support her! even if u still pay for her cellphone bill college bills so on. even if u still support her. DONT stop she will only hate u for it if u are mad at her. BE excited. even if she isnt with the father. dont look at your daughter any way but be happy.! it will be your grandchild! love it, do much as u can for her.. that doesnt mean she has to quit college. she may have to put it off for a while and attend a community college to finish up her schooling after the baby is born. So what, just support her please! bc she will only hate you for being mad, and upset at her. she can do anything she wants to do. she is prolly smart enough to take care of the child just support her!
    SweetiePieAfWf

    Answer by SweetiePieAfWf at 1:14 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Oh boy, no words of wisdom but how about a "it will be OK". No matter how much we hope and pray for this not to happen, it does... in any type of family. Things will work out, there are success stories above. Breathe!
    wildboyz1994

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 1:17 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • When I got pregnant when I was 20 years old, and my mother told me she would pay for the abortion!! It pissed me off at first so as long as you do not say that you should be great!!! Just be supportive, and be excited its a baby!!! A beautiful wonder baby, that you are going to love, no matter the situation. And you DD will do great if she had a plan before she will change it and it will be fine!
    blue_glass_mama

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 1:30 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • I am going through exactly the same thing right now. My sd is 19 and came home last week and told us she was pregnant. At first I really didn't say anything. I just needed time to think and let it sink in. That evening my dh and I spoke with her and let her know everything was gonna be alright. We were her support when she had to tell the rest of the family. Now with that said I do not think this is an ideal situation by any means, however I know she needs our support. Her life is going to change very soon and she is gonna need her Mom. I just didn't think it was going to do any good to be mad and yell at her. The damage was already done. I don't think my sd still has a clue how much life will change but they will get it soon enough! Good luck
    sara13178

    Answer by sara13178 at 1:41 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • How about. YOU HELP HER DEAL WITH IT.

    As the woman with the child rearing experience, i would expect you to be there for her. Not going mental because your adult daughter is pregnant;.

    Try thinking about her instead of yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

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