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what do you think it means?

i posted a question a few days ago, about how my husband had connected with an old friend, someone he used to like before he met me, and how when she came to visit he went with out me to meet her at times when i couldn't go with him, and said he was going alone to a movie but was really there with her. he said he lied because he didn't want me to get mad, but of course him lying made me more mad. he said he didn't like her like that anymore,and nothing happened between them, so i don't know why he lied about it to begin with . i told him i didnt want him to talk to her cause he never lied to me until she came to visit and he saw her.he said he wouldnt. but something told me to check his myspace the other day( i have his password,but he doesn't know it)and there were a few messages between them. and in one is said she was moving back here, and was it going to be weird for him. and he wrote back , 'no it wont be weird. i have

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Sep. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Leanred a lot. And I don’t want to be that guy’. You guys said I should talk to him about it, and I did. I didn’t tell him what I read, and he did tell me they have sent a few messages to each other. And he even told me the truth about what they talked about, and about her moving here. he is being honest now, and I do believe him that nothing happened. I just am wondering what he meant in his messages when he said ‘ I’ve learned a lot, and I don’t want to be that guy’. A friend told me she went through something like this, and her husband said that to her, and he meant that he didn’t want to be the guy that would cheat on her or hurt her again. Do you think it just means that he learned that he better not ever lie to me again cause he doesn’t want to hurt me?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • im wanting to say that it does mean he dont want to be the Cheater guy. especially since he came out and told you about the letters. i would definately talk to him and let him know that lying to you made the situation worse, and you understand that maybe he didnt want to make you think something was up, but in lying about it it made him seem more suspicious. im sure you have already told him that though. I wouldnt let my guard down completely right off though. still watch him and make sure that he isnt just saying this to you now just to make you comfortable with the two of them

    Answer by Rylansmommy386 at 2:30 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Id say he dosnt want to be the type who cheats or lies to his wife. Even with him being honest, AFTER the fact, Id be seriously watching out for the "old friend" as she may be one of those women who just wont stop communicating with him in the hopes that he will leave you for her. better safe than sorry dear, sorry.

    Answer by vbruno at 2:36 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • i will say whatever you want 2 hear....what do u want 2 hear? that he's a good boy? ok he's a good boy. now get over it and move on. the man told u the truth and u r still complaining. give me a break

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • anon :47

    is this response of yours really necessary need some anger management classes!


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • I've had this same problem recently.but he sought out an old girlfriend from 30 years ago and then began to flirt with her.I think it is wrong to pursue and old relationship if you are married and have a family.You can't relive your past, it only hurts the one you love in the present tense.

    Answer by evelynwest at 4:21 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • My husband is texting his ex-wife over 500 times a month, they do have a child together, but it seems she is sending him one every morning and he is responding. I looked up his phone history and that's how I found out. I had questioned him before confronting him. He said that they only talk about their son. On one day there were over 150 texts...he said he couldn't recall what they were talking about.

    I don't know...even though your husband told you the truth...aren't you going to still feel that insecure feeling? That need to check his myspace?

    We are in counseling...but not sure it's going to save the marriage. I want it to work, but feel like he's over me and I'm just the pathetic wife! We have other issues, but this one is on the top of my list.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

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