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Should you call CPS on friend who is mean to kids?

I had a friend who was so mean to her kids, telling them they were stupid, constantly talkng down to them and making them feel bad about themselves, always screaming, even hitting them. Spanking was completely out of control, it was very excesive and they never knew when it was coming. I told her she needed to get help for her anger and she flipped out on me & is now telling lies about me to everyone. Should I have just called authorities? Now i'll never be able to help those kids. I am so torn up about this and agonized and prayed over what to do but it came out like this. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

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Asked by JackieGirl007 at 2:45 PM on Sep. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Level 35 (73,191 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • yep. I will call on anyone who harms a child. I don't care if it is a friend or not

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:48 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Gosh, that's a tough one for sure. I am betting that if she has acted out in these ways towards her children in front of you, she more than likely does it in front of others too and they are also struggling with what to do. How old are the children? If you are truly concerned you could contact the school counselor anonymously and see if they would talk to the kids about the situation at home. Or you could attempt speaking to your friend again and just letting her know that you think the situation needs to be remedied in some way. Go at it differently though....tell her that you are friends and you have seen it first hand and you know how devastated she would be if something happened and she was turned in and lost her children for an undetermined amount of time. Try to be her advocate, not her attacker and maybe that will give you better results.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • wow i just went through this.

    ok my story is my sister inlaw accused me as "ALWAYS BEING MEAN TO HER KIDS" now i devoted all my time to her 3 kids since they were born and since i was like 12, now at the age of 23 i still watch her kid, till recentl. Her eldest daughter has formed some habbit of being rude to adult and talking back i corrected her daughter and told her not to be disrespectful towards adults my sister inlaw snapped and threw a huge drama show and fit. now she dont come over or bring her kids around and accused me of being mean to her kids.

    In a way it benefits me, cuz i dont have to deal with her drama and taking care of her kids. I learned not to stick my nose in anyone's business. I worry about myself, and my children and nothing else matters. its really a big relief and alot of weight off my shoulders.

    Answer by navajomama7 at 2:53 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • I would call CPS in a heartbeat.  Sometimes we need a reality check to make us appreciate what we have.  It sounds like your friend isn't appreciating her children.  Someone else would.  Yes, I would call on her.  What she is doing is not acceptable.  Good for you for sticking up for them!  You can still call CPS.  I've found out from a friend of mine on this same subject that the workers have a way to talk to the children to get them to open up about how their mother talks to them.  You still have a shot, don't beat yourself up over it.  You care, and thats more than most people do nowadays.  You did the right thing!


    Answer by Katrina3016 at 2:55 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Better to call and and regret it....than to NOT call and regret it. (if kids were to get hurt, it would haunt you forever)

    What a horrible situation you are put in.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 3:01 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • I called the cops on a guy in Chili's last week for way less - he was giving the baby (I presumed to be between 6-8 months) beer, AND he would take his hand and hold the back of her head and press her forehead into the table, then he thumped her and she screamed!. They arrested him - and yes - I will be going to court to testify of what I saw him do - I don't care who you are - a baby is a baby is a baby and I will NEVER forget baby Brianna from New Mexico - If just one person had spoke up - she might still be alive.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • You've already tried talking to her, and I think that is better than just calling CPS. Sometimes,calling someone out makes them take pause and think about what they've been doing. It actually worked with a couple I know when I told the dad he was being too mean to his son when all the kid wanted was attention.If she's not wanting anything to do with you now, I would suggest calling CPS.My son has been in an emotionally abusive home for several years and they rarely if ever take kids for that.In a recent incident where my son's grandfather hit him, we called CPS and I begged them to make sure my son got counseling if they weren't going to take him out of the house.He now has counseling every week, which is helping alot, even though I wish he didn't have to live there(they are somewhat wealthy and i can't afford legal help).Unless your friend's kids have physical evidence of abuse, they'll most likely stick around to see what's

    Answer by ranedare at 3:39 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • CONT::going on. Just make sure you tell them what yoy think is most important and let them know you're doing this out of genuine concern for the kids.They most likely will not give you any information about their case, but you can tell your side.

    Answer by ranedare at 3:42 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • CALL, shes verbally and emotionally abusive. Having them investigate will put your heart at ease. Youve witnessed things first hand, so its not hear say, and you can make an anonymous report! Go for it, itll all be worth it for the kids in the end!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 4:02 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

  • Wow, maybe you are just a little peeved that you're friend is mad at you and you are dramatizing it a little bit. Nobody likes a snitch and if this person is your friend and you want to make up with them then I wouldn't go calling CPS and trying to get her kids taken from her. If she's really as bad as you say SOMEONE will report her. Believe me you don't want to be on the recieveing end of a CPS call. You said she started telling lies about you, do you want her to call CPS and tell lies about you?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Sep. 30, 2009

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